The beggars have all ridden

August 29th, 2013 § 25 comments

IMG_2082Remember me pretty,
Remember me whole.

Remember me the way I am today
While friends still honestly say, “You’d never know.”

Let me tell you:
It’s not what it looks like,
It’s not what it seems.

 

Those times are long over,
Now I am on my own.
The beggars have all ridden.
My wishes: horses gone.

I float above it all,
Watching as I do.
Surrounded by people,
Feeling so alone.

Head down,
At the stoplight tears come,
A young man pulls up next to me
Glances once… twice…
With an engine rev, he’s gone.

I hide it pretty well, you see.
They say, “You look so good,”
“You are so strong,”

But       in       the       space       that’s     in      between

I fall apart
I kick and scream
I claw and grab on for dear life.

Because really,
Truly,
What is happening here:

Choice is gone,
Chance is Queen,
Luck will run right out.

Everyone placed their bets?
Let’s see how far we can go.1

  1. Despite the emotional tone of today’s post you will be glad to know, as I was, that bloodwork today indicates that my tumor markers have remained low this week. This lends more credence to the theory that the higher dose of chemo I’ve been taking for the last three weeks is working again after the cancer was developing resistance to the previous lower dose. So, in essence, it is a two week reprieve, a push of the “pause” button []

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