Memorial Service

March 9th, 2015 § 45 comments

  Lisa Bonchek Adams

“Find a bit of beauty in the world today.
Share it.  
If you can’t find it, create it.
Some days this may be hard to do.

7/29/69 – 3/6/15

The Visitation was held on Sunday, March 15, 2015 in Darien, Connecticut at the Lawrence Funeral Home.  The parlor was decorated with photos of flowers from Lisa’s garden and bouquets from friends and neighbors.

The Memorial Service took place on Monday, March 16, 2015 at the First Congregational Church in Darien.  The program included eulogies and performances in celebration and memory of Lisa.

The following are videos and transcripts of these remembrances:

The Reception followed the Memorial Service and was held at the Country Club of Darien.  This video, with some of Lisa’s favorite photos and songs, was shown at the reception and posted online for those participating in a virtual service.  

§ 45 Responses to Memorial Service"

  • Carla says:

    Thank you for all of the effort and work to post Lisa’s Remembrances and Lisa’s Memorial Service. It is incredibly generous, kind and thoughtful of you to “bring us along” (those of us who knew Lisa on-line). Reading, viewing, and hearing the different components of her Remembrances and her Memorial Service helps me grieve. Thank you to each person who spoke… to each person who sang… to each writer who wrote… to each artist who created… to each person who took the photos included in the beautiful photo montage her brother put together… Thank you for being vulnerable and transparent in your grief to provide an infrastructure for the rest of us to mourn. You.Have.Done.Lisa.Proud.

  • Christine Droney says:

    Lisa and I had a Lancaster connection and I then connected through her writing after my Aunt Phil died from metastatic breast cancer. Lisa was really something to so perfectly explain the journey of a patient with metastatic disease. She put herself out there for all of us to learn and then to understand. Even in the end knowing all that pink is not the answer …it is research dollars towards metastatic disease. Thank you to Lisa for sharing herself and to the Adams/Boncheck families who shared with us through your pain. Lisa will never be forgotten.

  • Tami G says:

    Thank you for your generosity in sharing this with all of us who knew Lisa only through this site and twitter. By sharing this with us, you validated our cyber relationships with her. No, we don’t really qualify as true friends, or family but we loved her and followed her on her long journey until she left us, not surprised but saddened. Reading the eulogies put words with the names we have only heard about from her. She has a smart, kind, loving family. She would be so proud of you all for sending her off in such a beautiful way, and sharing it with her cyber tweeps that she had come to know through the years. I for one will read it all again…and again. Her message will live on here forever.

  • Radhika says:

    Thank you for sharing with us.

  • Sharon says:

    Thank you for a very tasteful online memorial. As someone above commented, this does so very nicely and generously respect Ms. Adams’ “in real time” life, yet is a significant tribute to her online interactions and community support. Still sending all my sympathy and condolences on your loss.

  • Kathy says:

    Thank you so much for sharing

  • Sandra says:

    This was beautiful. Thank you.

  • sara chandos says:


  • Pris Robichaud says:

    What a loving, remarkable Memorial To Lisa.
    Thank you for sharing.

  • Caroline Young says:

    Clarke – Steve and I were so sad that we were not able to travel from Houston to be there with family to celebrate Lisa’s life. (We are grateful that Ginny, Katy, and Dave were able to be there with you all.) Thank you for posting this. I watched all of it through tears this morning. In all of my years of knowing Lisa, her love of family was what struck me the most, and that is what was so evident here. She was fiercely loyal to family and to friends. She was brave, thoughtful, kind, and funny. We will hold her in our hearts forever. Clarke, we are thinking of you and the kids every day. We love you all!

  • Cassandra says:

    I can not imagine your grief as you mourn the loss of your beautiful wife and mother to your children. I still can’t believe she is not going to send out her monday twitter reminding us to not put off a healthcare appointment. Truly, she was a rare gift and died way too young. Way way too young. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Though I only knew her via the internet, my heart mourns alongside you. Her death is impossible for me to reconcile this side of heaven. I know Lisa was not a believer (but I am) and the God I know was waiting to hold and heal her. Can’t prove this but I know it in my heart to be true. Your daughter is your her mother’s child, to be sure. Sweet Paige displayed tremendous poise for such a young girl. Already she has made her mother abundantly proud. The boys were her heart, that was clear from her posts. When I think upon your family I will lift you up in prayer that you might be able have rest, mentally and physically.

    Thank you for sharing this. My thoughts drifted toward her frequently since I learned of her death. If you find it within yourself, please let us know how you are every now and again.

    So truly sorry for your loss,

  • Hugh says:

    “Holy Sonnet X”

    Death be not proud, though some have called thee
    Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so,
    For, those, whom thou think’st, thou dost overthrow,
    Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
    From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
    Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
    And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
    Rest of their bones, and souls deliverie.
    Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
    And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
    And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
    And better then thy stroake; why swell’st thou then;
    One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
    And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

  • Ellen says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I followed Lisa for the last few years and this has helped with my grieving to bring some closure. I am blessed to have had her presence and words in my life. I have sent her photos of my Corgi. I loved seeing her photos. I will think of her often when i see beauty in the world.

  • Sharon says:

    I read Lisa’s blog and Twitter for a long time. As you know, an amazing woman. You all did her proud in your tribute honoring her. I know you were lucky to have her in your lives but she was also fortunate to choose a wonderful man to marry , which brought three lively children into this world.

  • Jane says:

    Lisa was simply beautiful, in every way.

  • Kandy Zsebik says:

    I just found this site and was moved to watch Lisa and her divine light that was in every pictured shared. At 39 I started my journey with breast cancer after three years of will I make it through all this I did. At age 68 it came back in other breast and once again stayed the distance. I want to say to all the husbands and children that go through this journey my compassion is with them also. No one ever asked my children how they were doing. My dearest husband who fought the battle by my side has since departed after 53 years together. Please remember the family who is in constant ups and downs of day to day life.

  • MarieMcC says:

    Thank you so much for allowing Dear Lisa’s online “friends” to share in this touching memorial service and beautifully crafted video. I feel honored. Although I am the age of Lisa’s parents, I have learned from her and grown in my knowledge and wisdom. I shall miss her “Twitter” voice.

  • Sue Laybourn says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this.
    Lisa had such a generous spirit and she always seemed to make the time for everyone. I admired her for her courage, her unflinching honesty and her eloquence. I’d followed Lisa for 5 or 6 years on Twitter. Loved her Monday reminders, and we exchanged the occasional Tweet.

    Eighteen months ago my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer of the oesophagus. A day or two after we’d heard the news Lisa had posted a blog that couldn’t have been better timed. I mentioned this to her on Twitter and explained why. Within two minutes she’d ‘followed’ me and sent me a message, asking about my husband’s diagnosis, prognosis, etc. It staggered me at the time that, in spite of all she was going through, and in spite of her busy family life, she took the time to get in touch. I have never forgotten that, and I’m sure I’m just one of many who she gave her wisdom to.

    I’m sending all my love and heartfelt condolences. Thank you so much for sharing Lisa with us. She touched so many lives. It’s spring here now, and when I see the spring flowers, I remember her.


  • Carole Lieberman says:

    “Speak her name”
    Lisa will ‘Never’ be forgotten.
    She loved & was loved.
    An enormous loss to her family & to The World.
    Lisa gave & gave some more to everyone.
    “Speak her name” She will ‘Never’ be forgotten.
    Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Nina says:

    I miss you, Lisa. I’ve never met you in person but I’m missing you so much. I cannot imagine how much your precious family must be missing you. I hope and pray that they are doing okay. I think of you and especially your children often. I’m a mother of three young kids too and my heart aches for them. And I don’t know why I keep coming back to your website still. In my head I know there won’t be any more new words from you, Lisa, but in my heart I long to see your updates. Often times I read, and re-read your words. You connected with me like a friend. I will be forever grateful for your “friendship” and what you have shared with me through your writing.

  • Alice says:

    Like Nina above, I was thinking of Lisa today on the 2 month anniversary of her death. I knew her only through her online presence in my life but still have felt bereft of a personal friend since she died. I am thinking today of her family and how much they must miss her and what a profound impact she had on so many lives.

  • Victoria K says:

    I just had to stop by as Lisa has been on my mind and I miss her voice SO much. It’s been just over 4 mos since she left us and the void in the blogosphere is palpable.

    I continue to be so sorry for your loss and the big hole left by such a vibrant soul. You must miss her in deep ways.

    Thank you again for sharing her memorial with us, for sharing her with us.

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