In the still of the evening I hear a car,
A neighbor calling his own dog home for the night.
In the still of the evening my mind wanders again.
I finished my 13th round of chemo 48 hours ago.
I wonder what is going on inside my body.
I wish I could see.
I wish I knew.
Is it working?
Is this round the one that will show evidence of chemo failure?
Will I move on to a new treatment?
One step closer to the end?
Every time I bang against something,
Every time I feel a twinge,
Every time that fractured bone aches,
The pauses add up to moments.
The moments add up to minutes.
I reel them back in like fishing line, I show them who’s boss.
Just listen, I say.
Listen to the frogs. The creaks. The murmuring. The train.
Just hear the quiet,
Hear the house going to sleep for the night.
Feel the love.
Be grateful you can.