The still of the evening

April 9th, 2013 § 30 comments

IMG_3323In the still of the evening I hear the frogs waking up to Spring.
I hear the creak of the floor as my daughter walks around her room,
Sets things just so,
Murmurs to our dog.

In the still of the evening I hear a car,
A train,
A neighbor calling his own dog home for the night.

In the still of the evening my mind wanders again.
Always back.

I finished my 13th round of chemo 48 hours ago.
I wonder what is going on inside my body.
I wish I could see.
I wish I knew.

Is it working?
Is this round the one that will show evidence of chemo failure?
Will I move on to a new treatment?
One step closer to the end?

Every time I bang against something,
Every time I feel a twinge,
Every time that fractured bone aches,
I pause.

The pauses add up to moments.
The moments add up to minutes.

I reel them back in like fishing line, I show them who’s boss.

Just listen, I say.
Listen to the frogs. The creaks. The murmuring. The train.

Just listen.
Just hear the quiet,
Hear the house going to sleep for the night.
Feel the love.
Be grateful you can.

Tagged , , , ,

§ 30 Responses to The still of the evening"

  • Elaine says:

    I just discovered your blog a few days ago. This is beautiful, thank you.

  • Susan Yoga says:

    Thank you for your thoughtful present of having written this article. The message seems to be given to specifically.

  • erikarobuck says:

    What a beautiful poem. xo

  • Mary says:

    I am not sure how many times I can make the same comment…….thank you for “talking” for me and “thinking” for me. I think the same things in the still of the night when my house is quiet and majestic.

    Just when I think, man, she just wrote THE BEST poem, you write another one. I hope your writings are going to be put into a book, Lisa. I know my family will “need” your words when I have died of MBC.

    I am going to keep on saying, “Thank you, Lisa, thank you, thank you, thank you.” We are on the same journey. You soften the future for me with your reflective and so true words.

    I can only offer you hope that you are well today and all day, and you have many more stable days to come.

    • Lisa Bonchek Adams says:

      I hope you are still saying the same wonderful things to me for many years. The words “thank you” are my payment. And I send them back to you as well.

  • Ann says:

    Thank you for this.

  • Susan says:

    Beautifully written Lisa. I think of you and all you are going through often and I wish I could help.

    PS: Just hope it wasn’t me calling in the dog late in the evening; “Connor get your @#$% in here, now!” would sort of wreck your peaceful thoughts. 🙂

  • So beautiful. You may not be able to see inside your body but you’ve shown your soul and you are lovely. May you find your way back to the moment as often and as easily as possible.

  • Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) says:

    Love you!

  • Meg says:

    So beautiful. An instant of peace and the wonder of your words. Thank You!

  • Simply . . . beautiful! xoxo ~Nicole

  • jude says:

    Such tenderness…this is lovely, thank you.

  • kcecelia says:

    This is beautiful. It has meaning for each of us, all in our disparate circumstances. Thank you for writing it. Thinking of you.

    Just listen.
    Just hear the quiet,
    Hear the house going to sleep for the night.
    Feel the love.
    Be grateful you can.


  • Diane D'Angelo says:

    Thank you.

  • marcinca says:

    When I think of you Lisa, I often tell others….”She’s wonderful. She’s so real. She shines a bright light in a dark corner”. I’m continually thankful for your words and presence, always wanting to print your words, hug them to me, and tuck them away in a safe place. Many thanks for sharing your life with us.

  • Carolyn says:

    Beautiful reminder to all of us to be still and enjoy the quiet. To be grateful for our lives. Thank you for reminding us of this.

  • Shawn says:

    Beautifully written… Thank you!

  • Dorothy says:

    Lovely, thank you.

  • jennw says:

    Just beautiful; be here now, always the challenge. thank you.

  • Amy Bromberg says:

    This is beautiful Lisa. So moving.

  • Kim C says:

    When reading these words, I’m aware of the unbearable lightness of being. Thank you for your presence.

    • Nevaeh says:

      Thanks for posting about cover. From the player side, there is a lot more to this game than posted. For example, I am certain that you APs have strategies for partial information of various sorts. Cover play will almost always be necessary to some degree. But this is way outside of my expertise. From a game protection perspective, the fact that there are comments on this at all should underscore just how big this problem is. Even acdnlwoekging the scope, I am sure this blog will have at best a small impact on this issue for either side.

    • http://www./ says:

      Shoot, so that’s that one supposes.

    • http://www./ says:

      My 16 hours included 9 hours of sleeping, so I don’t feel so bad. Oh yeah, it also included talking to my mother for an hour. Which is like 7 hours in people years.Just kidding. In case my mom ever reads this.

  • I love this. And you.

    So powerful and like a laser into your mind.

    Much love, always. xo

  • Amy Coulter says:

    This my favorite piece that you’ve written. Luminous.

  • Kathleen says:

    This is stunning.

    I am thinking of you with your news.

  • Merva says:

    In the still of the night … I think of the future, too often with my own type of worry. As thanksgiving looms, I am reminded to pause and be grateful for what I have. And I thank you for each post and thought that you share. Your words are wonderful.

  • What a fantastic encouraging poem!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

What's this?

You are currently reading The still of the evening at Lisa Bonchek Adams.