Just a word

December 20th, 2010 § 22 comments

Four is just a word. So is three. But once again today I will change one word on the welcome page of my website.

“It has been three years since hearing the words ‘You have cancer,'” the first sentence says.

And now, today, it becomes four.

I think about days like the one four years ago — days that start innocently, normally, benignly. In the hours leading up to the mammogram I wasn’t worried about anything.

I think about the sentence that changed my life.

I think of where I’ve been, where I am, where I am going.

I think of those I’ve met along the way: new friends, doctors, nurses, strangers.

I think of those who have died from cancer and other causes since I was diagnosed.

I think of the progress we’ve made and the distance we have yet to go.

I think of what today might bring, and tomorrow.

And then, in a sudden reversal, I stop myself from thinking too much.

“It’s time to go live my life,” I tell myself. Thinking is good, but only so much.

“It’s time to go live my life,” I tell myself…

Right after I change that one word.

To read about the chronology of my diagnosis, go here.

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§ 22 Responses to Just a word"

  • auntie_jenn says:

    You’ve come a long way. Congratulations on another *good* milestone. xoxo.

  • Rejoicing with you today. Four. A perfect word for today.

  • Lori Dyan says:

    I love reading all of your words, but that single word is definitely the best one you’ve written all year 🙂

  • Erika Robuck says:

    That’s a really, really nice word. I look forward to reading when you substitute “five”…”nine”…”thirteen”…”twenty”… and on and on.

  • casoly says:

    Wow. I can’t help but think of all of the people you have touched, all the people you have helped in the past four years, more than probably even you know. I am so glad you are here, that we know each other and I agree with Erika – it will be so nice to celebrate with you as you add years to this milestone. xo :o)

  • Patti Wunder says:

    Happy “Change the Number” day! Four is an excellent number!
    And the photo is a beautiful way to show us how you’re living your life!

    Here’s to many more “Change the Number” days!

  • Becky says:

    I love you Lisa. Such a difficult time of the year, for me. Thank you for being here.

  • Teri says:

    Celebrating with you the life you are living and so glad for your blog which I have shared with other survivor friends of mine. Congratulations on four years being cancer free and looking forward to next year when you change that word to *five*.

  • Laura Alarie Mastrangelo says:

    Lisa, you are such an inspiration!! Here is to many more years to celebrate!!!

  • Daniel says:

    Here’s to counting up (and up and up and up)! What a beautiful picture of your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing.

  • Mark says:

    Love. Gratitude. Family. Forever.

  • All I can say is, yay!

    In the coming year I wish for much happiness for you and your family and that you live well. 🙂

  • tami.lantz@fandm.edu says:

    Four is a beautiful word for you to begin this New Year, Lisa! Enjoy each and every moment surrounded by your wonderful family and friends.

  • Joanne Firth says:

    Sending you a giant bear hug Lisa, on this day marking 4 years since the news. I hope some day we can meet, maybe half way somewhere and share a cup of coffee or a meal. I love your closing sentence about going to live your life now. I understand that a little bit better than I did before. Cancer puts layers on top of trying to live your life. I’ve only had it for a short time but I do understand what that means. You go and live and write and enjoy every second. Those seconds will add up to 5 years, then 6 and way beyond. I love you. Congratulations!

  • Love your writing, your wit, your spirit, Lisa! And this photo of you and your smiling family speaks volumes. Cheers and best wishes always from Denver! K.

  • Yael says:

    Lisa – this is my second attempt at leaving a comment. Again, re reading your piece makes me shudder in awe of the sensitivity of your writing. It is so painful and elegant all at once; you convey an innate fear that we all have and emerge with such bravery and confidence in each sentence. I am truly moved. May God bless you and your beautiful family till the end of time. xxx

  • Kathleen says:

    Lisa, You are quite an inspiration, and I am so happy to call you my friend. xx

  • Louise says:

    Beautiful and inspiring, Lisa. Since I just lost my mother, unexpectedly, two days ago (not from cancer), I can’t read most things right now; but this is true and wonderful. What a darling photo, too. People like you help the rest of us get through tough times. Much gratitude to you. xo

  • Such a moving post Lisa. And a wonderful photo of a beautiful family.

  • Bria says:

    Thinking about you today. Here’s to many, many more December 20s to come.

  • Maggie says:

    Beautiful, strong post from a beautiful, strong woman. You are an inspiration, as is your family. I especially see your strength and humor in Tristain. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Mary Helen says:

    Lisa, you’re such a wonderful writer — you’re a true inspiration to your readers, family and friends. I’m so glad I met you, even if cancer was the reason. You’ve kept Sydney in your thoughts from the beginning and somehow, knowing someone was out there who had not only successfully fought cancer herself, but also knew what it was like to face serious problems with a child is a huge sense of comfort. I can’t tell you how much it has meant to me. Thank you so much. And best wishes for another forty (or more!) years of health!

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