Do Your Friends Read Your Blog?

December 15th, 2010 § 24 comments

Some of my friends read my blog. Some of them don’t.
My mother reads regularly. My father only reads if I send him a specific link or if my mother tells him about a post. He says it’s often too hard for him to read my posts– they are too raw, too personal. It’s a window into my suffering and he doesn’t want to see me experience so much pain.

Some of my friends find it educational to read about the experiences I’ve had whether it’s to learn about me or learn about the subjects I write about. Some friends find it an easy way to keep up with me in the midst of our busy, family-filled, hectic lives. Friends that live far away subscribe or check in every so often to catch up on how I am and what issues are the current focus of my attention.

But what about those who don’t read the blog at all? I have many friends who don’t. There are many moms I see on a daily basis that don’t even know I have been writing here for 3 years.

One of my closest friends said she almost never reads it because she wants to hear it all from me in person. She wants the opportunity to hear about my thoughts and activities without having to learn by reading on a screen. To her, it’s almost like snooping on my life when she would rather knock on the front door and come in for a visit.

For other people, I think it’s just not their cup of tea; my writing style, subject matter, or format just aren’t appealing. They might like me, they just don’t like this.

There are other explanations, of course, but I am interested to hear from those of you who have blogs: do your friends and family read it? Do they comment to you about it/bring the topics up in conversation? Are your feelings hurt if friends don’t read your work? And does your spouse or partner read your posts? Does he/she comment? Bring it up at the dinner table?

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this topic.

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§ 24 Responses to Do Your Friends Read Your Blog?"

  • jane says:

    my husband is my most devoted reader, although we disagree on what makes a good blog post. i don’t think any of my siblings read regularly – if ever. it was hard for me to accept that at first because i felt like i was putting myself out there and they were rejecting me.

    now, i look at it as a forum for me to discuss my passions with like-minded people, a sort of second family who rounds me out and gives me an outlet for things that i wouldn’t get to talk about otherwise.

  • Ann Gregory says:

    Some friends do read, but most do not. As for family, it’s hit or miss. My feelings don’t get hurt, but there are moments when I have to ask if they’re reading the blog before I answer the ever present “How are you” question. If they’re current, I don’t want to bore them. My husband is a blog contributor and there are rimes when something I’ve written worries him. I take it all with a grain of salt.

  • I started blogging as a refuge from friends and family from whom I felt increasingly isolated as I struggled with infertility.

    After a time, I let one close friend in on my blogging life, though we rarely talked about the specifics of what I’d written there. Over the years I’ve mentioned the blog to a handful of other friends, but it still remains pretty separate from the rest of my social life.

    At the same time, I’ve formed relationships with a number of people I’ve met through blogging or Twitter (yourself included), and many of them have become “real” friends who I see in daily life or on Facebook and they mingle among the people who have no idea about my blog.

    Sometimes I do fear being discovered by my family, about whom I’ve written some not so flattering things, or by local folks who might take exception to some of the things I’ve written about the community (or my impressions of it at any rate), and as of right now, I don’t link to the blog from my Facebook profile, for example.

  • Kelly Bergin says:

    My parents do and now they worry.

    My friends do and tell me to be funnier when I’m being sad.

    My writer friends read it and tell me to write better when I’m being silly and juvenile.

    In the end, you can’t win. You can only write for yourself.

  • Simon Lloyd says:

    I have absolutely NO IDEA whether members of my family read my blog (or are even aware of it). My family is spread throughout the country (Brother lives in England, Sister in Wales). I started my blog as a result of positive comments made to me via twitter. I still have no idea whether what I write is read and (hopefully) enjoyed. I often get lazy* with my posts (*I read the amazing posts others, including yourself, write and feel that my words aren’t worthy to be part of the same world wide web of wonderfulness).

    Having said all that, I am grateful to read these amazing posts. Thank you.

  • migroddy says:

    I don’t believe any of my real life friends or family read my blog and that is fine with me for now. I would hope if I did write something that I was proud of and shared that they would be interested. I’ll report back if and when that might happen.

    I sympathize with your closest friend who would prefer the give and take of sharing your thoughts and feelings in person as this is probably a treasured part of your friendship to her.

  • Jon Penny says:

    I can only pray that my friends don’t read my blog.

  • Sometimes I read and don’t comment here. Sometimes I don’t read because I don’t want the stuff in my brain. I avoid sad if possible. I avoid pain. I’ve had enough and I don’t want more. Head in the sand? Yeah, a little. I’m ok with it.

    As for who reads my blog.. I’m not sure. I have readers who comment and that’s cool. My husband sometimes reads but usually after I’ve sent him the link. My family? Some might.. it’s rare. And every once in a while someone will say something and I’ll say, “how’d you know that?” and they said, “your blog, silly.” So people read it.

    Sometimes I wish they’d all tell me they read. Sometimes I don’t care. In the end it’s a way for me to keep writing (practice) and to share things with others. Sometimes the others are strangers, sometimes they’re friends, it all works out.

  • Brenda Whittaker says:

    I think that my desire to get your news and your feelings from you face to face has an element of selfishness — I’ve so much enjoyed the intimate discussions, and I like to think that there is an element of exclusivity! I am afraid, though, that by not reading I am somehow sending the message that I do not support what you are doing — and I do. I can see how cathartic it is for you. I just like to look you in the eyes when we talk! (See, you drew me out of my blog-free shell!)

  • Erika Robuck says:

    My blog links up to Facebook, so I think a lot of friends and acquaintances read the blog. I have way more read hits than comments, though. I wish people wouldn’t be shy. Of course, most of my blogs are book reviews, so unless someone has read the book I’m reviewing, there isn’t much to say.

  • linda woods says:

    Most of my friends who are online do read my blog and the ones who don’t are also not active online. My siblings all read my blog and I read theirs- we are a blogging family! There are many family dinners where conversations end with DON’T BLOG THIS! and other with I CAN’T WAIT TO BLOG THIS! and we all tweet while we are together. I think people who are active online are generally more supportive of others who are, too. That being said, I would still blog and tweet even if nobody is reading. It’s like keeping a journal- I do it for myself.

  • Becky says:

    No one in my family reads my blog at this point. My closest friends read it only sporadically. The people who read it that I didn’t know have become a community of sorts. The friends I’ve made recently read it. I like it this way, actually. I have friends email me or send me notes on Facebook to let me know that a post affected them — they’re uncomfortable leaving a comment on the blog, I’m okay with that too.
    I love comments though, makes me think writing something was worth it if it sparked a thought or conversation.

  • Marisa Birns says:

    Mine is a fiction blog, and sometimes family members and friends will stop by to read, but not often. No, it doesn’t upset me. What does amuse is when one of them calls me up to ask if person in story is “them.”

    No, I say, it’s all made up.

    They really don’t believe me, I think! :)

  • MrsWhich says:

    I write under a pseudonym, not to hide, but to create a level of indirection so that people who choose to read my blog either find me through twitter, each other, or by really, really trying to find me. Only maybe 5 or 6 of the people I interact with through twitter/blogging actually know me in person. I’ve never had anyone try to talk with me in person about something I wrote. I don’t specifically tell my family/friends how to find it, though I don’t hide it from them. My husband reads, though maybe not up-to-date. I find I can be more open and frank this way.

  • Joanne Firth says:

    This is refreshing, a blog about blogs. It can be a touchy subject especially when you hang out in a community of bloggers. I read your blog as much as I can, I just subscribed to your new site. The e-mail reminders are very helpful. I try to stay current with as many blogs as I can. Having my own makes me more aware of how important reading other people’s blogs is. If someone takes the time to share, whatever, I feel it’s important to read and comment. My blog gets much more traffic than comments so I don’t know who is reading it. I have a very loyal group who subscsribe and leave wonderful comments. I apprecciate that tremendously. Sometimes I do get bothered by the traffic statistics vs. comments. It seems out of whack to me, suggesting maybe that whoever stopped by did not like what I had to say. It shall remain a mystery but does not discourage me, for the most part, to keep writing. I enjoy it very much. I enjoy reading what other’s blog about.

    I read your blog before I had cancer because I was interested in the topic and I wanted to get to know you better. You write about powerful subjects. Cancer and death are not everyone’s cup of tea. Yet, you write about it and it becomes inspirational because you have survived life’s most difficult trials and tribulations.

    Now that I have cancer, your words hit home much harder. Some days I can handle it, others…not so much. Knowing that your words are here remain a comfort to me. Your educational backround and broad knowledge of the topics you write about teach me things that I need to know. I am most grateful that. I only know about cancer and death from the emotional aspect. You, Lisa are a wealth of knowledge on the subjects, your writing is brilliant. I feel lucky to be able to visit here and glean your hard earned knowledge. Having said all that. I read as much as I can. I appreciate those who read my words, even all the mystery people.

    Joanne

  • Pamela Carlson says:

    If I had a blog, and it was even 25% as good as yours, I think I would want everyone to read it, but I can see there are reasons for people who know you in real life to shy away from your bright honesty about difficult things here. The people close to you have other ways to get to know your wonderful heart. I’m glad to have this way. <3

  • Alana says:

    I’ve been writing on my blog for about a year. A few colleagues have dropped by, often on my recommendation due to pictures they should see, and my significant other has also read a few of my posts.

    I haven’t wanted to make a too big thing out of my writing a blog as far as my family is concerned. Part of what makes me write is the fact that I can try out things with as few people as possible knowing who I am.

    Is that weird?

  • Michele says:

    It’s different now, but for quite a while almost everyone who subscribed to my blog was a close friend in real life. (You will correctly infer from this that, at that time, I had very few subscribers.) Only one of my five sisters subscribes to it, but several nieces read it regularly. My husband has never read it. I think he feels reading it would be an invasion of privacy. Or maybe he just thinks he’d be bored — our interests are quite different.

    I remember learning that the guy who runs my local pharmacy is a subscriber — that was odd. How did I find out? He asked if I’d do a post about Abraham Lincoln.

    My blog is about nothing in particular. It’s just a chronicle of where I’ve been, what I’ve seen or read and what is on my mind at a given moment. I honestly don’t know why anyone other than a close friend would read it at all.

  • AvidReader78 says:

    I used to have a blog and slowly it received the attention of more and more friends. At a certain point I would find myself editing or atleast questioning what I was going to write because I knew who the audience was. At that point I switched blogs and swore I was going to remain anonymous but then as usual I’d tell one friend, then another, then another. It was a vicious cycle. Finally I just stopped blogging. I know I will get back into it one day. Same goes for my Twitter account. Had work friends on there and just recently switched to this account name. If I want to keep my friends out I should probably just tell them ;)

  • Erin says:

    Some of my friends read my blog, some don’t. It doesn’t offend me if they choose not to; as you said, it just might not be their cup of tea.

    My mother and sometimes my sister read my blog, and it’s been a point of contention among us. I’m currently grappling with how to write honestly about my own life without revealing too much about any of them. They’d prefer to be left out of it completely, but sometimes I can’t write honestly if I have to omit their existence.

  • I read your blog often, but not every day. Like some others say, some of the subjects are too painful, and others are too technical. My blog(s) is very very different from your blog, and truthfully I have no idea who reads it. I know my sister reads every post. But, I have people who read just the cooking posts, friends who read just the farm posts, and friends who read just the thoughts posts. My husband reads all of them (except the cooking I suspect), but not regularly. He’ll catch up every few weeks on everything. My stepmom reads infrequently but everything. My mom doesn’t even know it exists I think. I’d like more comments to know what people think about things. And as we’ve discussed together, things are going to get a little more personal in the Thoughts section, so we’ll see what that does. I blog for me not for other people, but at the same time, it is a time-consuming endeavor and if nobody’s getting anything out of it, then why not just keep a journal? It’s hard to say. A whole new blogging world out there to explore.

  • Kami says:

    Most of my family and some of my friends read my blog. My topics aren’t too serious. Mostly just wha we’re up to. It’s especially been nice having it since we’ve moved to Washington. I usually post a link to my facebook page, so a lot of my facebook friends see it that way. I typically get more hits than comments, though. I wish my readers wouldn’t be shy and would comment more.

  • JoAnn Kirk says:

    Everyone in my family, and all of my friends, know about my blog. It kind of ticks me off when people e-mail and say “haven’t heard from you lately, what’s new?”

    Well, read my blog, then. I have been so sick these last few months from the chemo, and they know this and still want me to e-mail them???? GRRR

    My blog entries every few days or week are do-able (middle of the night is a good time for me, sometimes) so why can’t they just look there?

  • Tonya says:

    Sometimes I wish that I had never told my family and friends about my blog.

    Many of them use it in a creepy sort of way. They’ll mention things to me when I see them in person and it never fails to weird me out because oftentimes I forget that I wrote about whatever it is that they are talking about OR and this is the creepy part, they’ll talk to one another about it and not me directly.

    None of my real life family or friends, apart from my sister EVER comment on the actual blog itself. I find that really annoying.

    I’ve had people tell me that they feel like they know me really well because of my blog and that’s a little strange too. Then there are people (like my MIL) that I know read it every. single. day. and never comments on it but will pull info out of the thin air, like she’s known for years.

    It’s a Catch 22, I guess. On the one hand, it’s a great way to update family and friends on my son and our adventures, but at the end of the day, I would prefer to have it be my little secret from those I know.

    Sorry to ramble.

    Great topic!

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