Hi, Things have gotten exponentially harder in last few weeks. I needed a few paracentesis drains (stick catheter in and drain excessive fluid in abdomen) in shorter and shorter increments at hospital.
A week ago 5.5 liters were removed. This process then was going to need to happen again after only ten days. The fluid is coming from my liver because of the cancer.
I was admitted to hospital Wednesday and had a Tenckoff catheter put in. I was not a candidate for the Denver shunt because my platelets run too low and an internal shunt would be dangerous.
They removed another 5 liters of fluid at surgery. Now I have a catheter that allows me to drain myself at home. But, so much fluid removal in short period messes with electrolytes, BP, etc. and makes you feel rotten until you get equilibrium.
Still cannot walk — no change predicted in short order. We are installing ramps, bought wheelchair, etc.
For now that is all I have energy to update but should give you sense of where things are.
Xo, Lisa
Link to Twitter
Lisa, thank you for the update. I’m sure it took a lot to do. I’ve been thinking of you throughout the days and hoping for comfort. All the best to you and your family.
Thinking of you – always.
xoxoxo
Please know I am praying for you.
Hope you reach equilibrium very soon, so that you can work on regaining strength. Thinking of you. Cancer really sucks.
My thoughts are with you. As always, thank you for letting us in.
You are in my thoughts. I know that those close to you will give you comfort but may my note let you know that so many people are holding you in a special place in our hearts.
Oh Lisa, I can hardly see the words you wrote through my tears. Thinking of you during these tough days.
Just chiming in to say I’m thinking of you through these rough winter days. Hoping for warm sunlight and spring’s green to break through so you can see it through your windows.
Still sending you many prayers. No one should have to ensure this. I pray for your loved ones as well, who want so much to help you but probably feel helpless. Much love, hope, and peace!
Lisa, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thanks for finding the strength to update us. I scrolled through your Twitter yesterday and sensed you were in need of lots of rest. Wishing you strength and beauty wherever you can find it.
Thank you for the update. Sending hugs of strength.
Thank you for updating us, Lisa. Think of you and your family often. I admire your strength. Sending light and love to you and yours.
Love,
Chalmarie from Fairbanks, Alaska
you are always on my mind. xox
I love you, Lisa. You are in my thoughts throughout each and every day.
Thank you for thinking to update for all of us reading your posts. You amaze me with your thoughtfulness.
xo
-P
I echo the thanks for your update. Your ability to report on medical details while feeling low is so admired. Daylight savings time begins next week. Your spring garden awaits. Sending heartfelt wishes for many colorful and comfortable days ahead for you.
Your dedication in somehow managing to post in these circumstances is nothing short of remarkable. Thank you. Virtual/mental support coming your way.
Best to you and your family. positive vibes being sent your way.
Thank you for update.. You and your family in my prayers .. Always..
XO
You taught me that there can be life even with mets, that scared me so much in the first two years after my diagnosis. You’re in my thoughts every day, Lisa.
I really wish there was more I could do than send all of my love, but I am doing that. xox
Lisa, know that for every person that posts a reply here there are many many others checking your Twitter feed and, seeing no updates, cursing the injustice of it all.
I am sending positive thoughts and energy for you and your family, and hoping you get a break from all of it soon.
Spring is right around the corner. I hope the sun on your face will bring both respite and renewal for you. Hang in there.
Lisa, I have been thinking about you, so thanks for the update. Sending you strength, love, and hugs from Oregon.
wishing you spring flowers
Another longtime reader and member of your Twitter, Blog, and bits of beauty fanclub sending you a virtual hug
Sending love. I have been thinking about you and am thankful for the update.
FIGHTER, STRENGTH, COURAGEOUS, INCREDIBLE,INTELLIGENT,MODEL OF EXCEPTION!!!
Sending you and family positive energy and well wishes.
Thinking of you and praying for you, Lisa, and your family. With you in spirit on your journey. You are a light to me in how to deal with impossibly difficult things with grace.
Thoughts with you.
Oh Lisa, I knew things were not going well. You are so brave to continue to share your life. And to still find a little beauty in your world. I’m sure most days this is a major effort. Wishing you better news and no pain.
Lisa, thank you for using some of your precious energy to update us. I’m a longtime reader and feel compelled to check up on you everyday on Twitter. Your courage is inspiring, and no doubt many others who undergo the same treatments (and bumps in the road) are comforted by reading your words. Know that there are many thousands of us who care about you and appreciate all that you do to help educate people. I hope that things reach a manageable place again soon and that these tougher days give way to a more gentle time. Spring flowers and other bits of beauty are surely ahead…
Prayers for you and your family. Hold on.
thank you for update, especially as it must have been so hard to do while experiencing such weakness and fatigue. Gentle hugs coming your way…
Your updates just keep getting harder and harder. It really saddens me. Cancer sucks!
David
hugs to you.
So good to hear from you Dear Lisa ….I’ve been thinking of your puppy visitor in hosp. after surgery and really hope that happened. What a treat. It’s snowing here again in Boston and I’ve been yearning for a sign of Spring and sunshine to come….just got it from you! This grinding February is done. Stay so strong.
Sending you lots of strength and love from Vancouver, BC.
Thinking of you and your family. Really appreciate you taking the time to post updates and provide the world with a glimpse into your reality.
Oh lisa, so sorry that you are going through this. Know that you are in my thoughts.
I know you must be uncomfortable, but hopefully any pain is controlled. I so wish that there were better options for treatments. Lots of people care about you Lisa. You are very strong and courageous. Truly an inspiration!
So sorry, Lisa (seem to say that an awful lot lately)! I’m sure all your readers are like me and wish we were closer and could somehow lend support. The only good news in your update (and I like to find some, as I know you so often do) is the wheelchair: maybe you can join the family at the dinner table more often and get in on those crazy dinner-table conversations, like “what was the highlight of your day and what was the lowlight” and best of all, now your kids can fight over who gets to walk mom down the street, hopefully to have a little visit with neighbours, hopefully to enjoy the fresh spring air and enjoy the greening of the grass and trees and the blossoming of the beautiful flowers that you so obviously love. Take advantage, kiddo!!
Wishing you and your family strength and peace.
P.S. Your flower pictures on Twitter are just beautiful!
Holding you and your family close in my thoughts.
I too hope that spring gets here quickly and brings with it a period of stability for you – a chance for routine, and quiet, moderate comfort, and more time at home than in the hospital.
So sorry things have been so hard. Hope soon you feel stronger. In the meantime admire you for your strong resolution to be as well as possible and keep us in your thoughts. xo
I hope your days ease and energy improves and spring comes early. Best wishes from here.
Holding you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. And knowing you are nothing short of remarkable.
Sorry things are harder.
Sending love all day.
<3
Thanks for the update. I’m sorry it’s been so difficult for you. Thinking of you, always! Sending lots of hugs. xo
Thinking of you & your loved ones, Lisa. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
Lisa – I am prayerful to have found you on this difficult journey, but I am better for knowing you through your blog. Your “bit of beauty” saying will hang in my home as a reminder of your strength and courage. Thank you. You are loved!
I’m so sorry to hear this, Lisa. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Lisa, carrying you close in my heart. Hugs.
Sending good thoughts and lots of love. Whenever I see something particularly beautiful (today it was the sparkling tree branches after an ice storm) I think of you, and thank you for your wisdom.
Thinking of you, Lisa, and, thinking of all things beautiful to share. Thank you.
Oh,Lisa. Thank you for sharing what’s going on. I know sometimes you feel all the love and caring that is with you every step of your journey, flowing from every person here, and sometimes you are just getting through the day. Please know that you are in our hearts whether or not you can post or not. Wishing you peace and strength as you make your way through this, and peace and strength to your family, as they surround you with love.
wishing you strength and peace of mind.
L,J
Thinking of you Lisa and wishing so much that you would not have to go through all of this. Peace and love to you, your family, and all those that care for you.
Sending you thoughts of energy, strength, beauty and love.
My mother had pleural drains installed before Christmas. She soon regained strength, energy and function. Hopeful for the same for you. xo
I have followed your tweets and blog postings for many months, but tonight’s post brought me to tears. So much I wish I could say or do that could change things for you, a perfect stranger hundreds of miles away, but I am powerless. Daily I think of you. You have made a difference in my life only by reminding me to be present and make the most out of every day I’m given. Thank you.
Hi Lisa – I have followed you every day since I first read about you in the NYT, but have never tweeted or replied on your blog. Just wanted to let you know I am glad you are home and sorry that you have to go through so much discomfort. You have taught me to remember to find a bit of beauty in the world every day and I thank you for your wisdom and grace.
Oh Lisa, I am so sorry to hear this. I wish there were something I could do to help you – when all I can do is tell u I’m thinking of you. So inadequate.
Keep on truckin’! At least that’s what I tell myself.
Sending love to you, dear Lisa. xo
Dear Lisa: I’m so sorry things have gotten so bad, I wish I could help you somehow but due to the distance all I can offer you are my prayers. May God bless and heal you
(((hugs)))
I take you with me on my walks each day in the cold winter sun, your courage keeping me warm.
You are a soldier in this dreadful army of breast cancer! God bless you! Praying for you tonight. We do not walk this path aline. Ever. KATHY
Your perseverance is incredible. love and hugs as always.
Blessings of ease to you – whatever you can find. So brave.
You keep fighting the good fight. I am praying for you. You are truly an inspiration.
thank you Lisa for the update. I’m sure they’re not high on your priority list but I appreciate that you keep them up and hope that means you know how many of us think of you daily and hope things start to ease up for you soon. Miss your ‘voice’ and wit on Twitter!
Oh Lisa. How I wish we could just give each other health and strength like we do hugs and kisses. You are still my amazing Lisa but I worry every single day about you even though it does no good. If I knew what years I had left I’d give you some of mine. You’ve been the best teacher I’ve ever had. The subject: life. Illness. Compassion. Death. Facing reality. Whatever relief is possible for you I wish for you. I’m afraid and I’m afraid to tell you I’m afraid. I don’t want to upset you. I hope you find easier days, moments of beauty. Your life is my thing of beauty. ❤️
Thank you for your updates, amazing with all you are going through. I have learned so much from you and am truly grateful. Sending so much love. Wish I could ease your discomforts. xo
I’m thinking of you and grateful for the update. Hoping for more strength and lots of beauty in your days. Meanwhile, I’m working on heeding your advice on seeking beauty and making the most of each day. Thank you for the reminders; you are making a difference.
Lisa,
Thank you for taking precious energy to update us. I think of you every day. I’m so sorry for your pain and fatigue. Wish there was something any of us could do for you and your family. Take care and rest, dear friend.
Tai
Dear Lisa I am so sorry – thx as ever for being brave and publishing your story ! You are an inspiration !! Very best wishes to you & family love A
i love you Lisa,you are in my thoughts
Sara
love you Lisa
you are in my thoughts
sara
Lisa, sending you much strength and peace.
Sending you lots of love and strength. You are so brave.
Sending you positive thoughts of Spring and the lovely flowers in your garden Lisa…so sorry things are so difficult for you right now. I hugely admire the courage and strength you demonstrate in the darkest of days.
Lisa, I am deeply grateful that you continue to share what’s going on with you, in spite of the energy it must take. You may not feel it all the time but you are surrounded by such love and caring from all of us, every day, every moment. Wishing you peace and courage as you make your way through this.
I saw a picture of crocuses (crocii??) blooming in Ireland and thought, “Oh, a bit of beauty, a sign of hope for spring – I wonder if Lisa would like it?” I’ll tag it on Instagram for you.
You can never hold back spring
You can be sure I will never stop believing
The blushing rose, it will climb
Spring ahead or fall behind…
So close your eyes
Open your heart…
And you can never hold back spring
Remember everything that spring can bring
Baby, you can never hold back spring
–Tom Waits
Lisa — I’ve been reading your blog / twitter feed for awhile, but have always been too shy to comment. I truly admire your strength, dignity and grace during this incredibly difficult time in your life. I’ve learned so much from you. Thank-you.
Lisa, the other day an acquaintance mentioned that she finds it difficult to see the emergence of her son’s grey hairs, and the beginning of wrinkles on his face. I told her what a privilege that is, actually. Later, she sought me out to tell me how insightful my comment was and she thanked me. I got that wisdom from you, Lisa. Your life’s work is important and effective. I felt crushed when I read your latest post. It’s such a tragedy that you are being deprived of your family and that your wonderful children are being deprived of their mother. I think of you often and wish you peaceful days ahead where you are well enough to be with your children to enjoy all those magical moments of family life.
Sending all love and light to you and your family.
Think of you so often–sending you strength and peace.
Praying you have some hope, peace and comfort out of all this trouble.
Thanks for letting us know, my friend. You are always in my heart.
Lisa you are in my thoughts and prayers
Hugs and Love. Hope you feel better soon.
I stumbled upon your blog by accident a year ago. You are an amazing writer and have made such an impact on so many people. Stay strong and thank you for keeping us posted.
Thank you for the update. Sorry that things have not improved. Hoping for better days. Take care.
Dear Lisa,
As always, my thoughts are with you.
Barbara S.
Dear Lisa – you are suffering but still find time to write, you are amazing. Thank you for your update and I can only repeat what those above have said, hurry up Spring, so you can enjoy the warmer days and the beautiful flowers.
Nary a tweet from you today, so I worry about you. May tomorrow be an easier day.
Thinking of you and sending you {{{{hugs}}}}
Always, always thinking of you, Lisa. xo
Lisa, as many others, I am reading through tears. Rest when you need to. You have made and are making a significant mark on the world and you are loved.
Dear dear girl….as these get harder and harder gather strength and courage from the lives of those around you. It’s ok to feel anything you want. I prayed for faith when I had none over a 10 year period….then with a stage 4 diagnoses 4 years ago I pray for courage and dignity. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I continue to pray for your comfort.
Dear Lisa,
I am thinking about you so very much and what a courageous person you are. You are special indeed.
Dear Lisa, Thank you so much for the update. I appreciate you providing this even when you are so weak. You are a truly amazing person, wishing you strength and rest.
Before I read your posts, I had never read anything that could both inspire me and scare the crap out of me at the same time (although, like you, I could do with less of the scare the crap out of me part). Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and, as so many others have already expressed, please know that I think of you often and wish you strength and love.
Lisa, I join the others in simply sending strength and perseverance. You are an inspiration every day, and those days when there is understandable silence from you feel heavy with absence. Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts, photos and experiences with this wide, wide net of people who obviously hold you in their hearts.
Sending wishes for strength and comfort. So many are thinking of you!
Keep fighting the good fight Lisa. Thinking of you.
Lisa,
you are my prayer today.
Love,
Frank
Your strength and perseverance are remarkable. Sending warm thoughts your way. Much love – xo
Thinking of you! Neighbors’ corgis today bouncing around in the deep snow, trying to be foxes, little gooflings. Will try to get a pic tomorrow to post.
Thinking of you and your family.
Lisa, you are an amazing, courageous human being. Thoughts are with you and your family… always. Sending warm hugs from Ireland xx
Lisa, thank you for being such a strong voice for honesty and clarity. You are an inspiration to us all, and your words continue to resonate, exponentially.
To echo the others, thank you for the update.
I admire your strength and grace in a very difficult situation. You are in my thoughts.
Oy Lisa, can’t stop thinking about you. Thank you for the update. Sending hugs to you.
Leslie
thinking of you every day. thank you for showing me how precious life is.
Thank you for the update. *Gentle hugs* from Utah.
God promises to give us the courage and strength, the hope and peace that we need day by day. Sending love, strength and energy.
God promises to give us the courage and strength, the hope and peace that we need day by day. Sending you love, strength and energy.
Sending you and your family strength.
Still no tweets. I’m rooting for you, hoping the snow will stop, that spring will come soon, that you will soon be stronger. Life should not be so hard.
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, always!
Sending prayers for healing.
Thank you for taking the time and energy to talk with all of us. I appreciate it so much. I’ve grown so used to your inspiring quotes, your flower pictures, your amazing energy and spirit, the way you love your children, your integrity. It means so much to me that you continue to bring us into your world. Thank you, thank you. I wish you so much beauty and joy and peace.
I’ve been following your blog for a few years. You are inspiring and courageous! You have illuminated a path that no one wants to travel. Wishing you much strength, comfort and peace. Thinking of you.
best wishes to you Lisa.
Whenever there is online silence from you, I send out positive vibes your way; I face east from my home and beam my warmth toward CT. And I imagine you with your family; I picture you, whether reclining in bed or sitting in a wheelchair, with your children nearby. Maybe they’re doing homework at the end of your bed; maybe you shoo them from the room to go eat dinner at the table, but then they return to kiss you goodnight. I just picture them in your room getting soaking up some Mom. Because as much as I love reading your writing or seeing a recent tweet, I love more the images of you all being together however you can.
I can’t even imagine how your body could hold 5.5 liters of extra fluid! I hope the drain is working well and making you so much more comfortable – wishing you a weekend of joy with your family. 🙂
You are in my thoughts.
Rest in sweet peace, Lisa. Much love and comfort to your dear family.
Lord, I pray for all those who love Lisa, all those inspired by her, to not be sad but instead be eternally grateful for having her in their and our lives. May You welcome Lisa and reward her spirit with freedom and love forever, freed of the mortal human cage. God, please bless her and all her loved ones. Amen.
Rest in peace, dear Lisa Adams. You will be missed.
Rest in peace, dear Lisa, and may your family find that your love and strength continue to surround them, always.
Rest in peace, Lisa. Love is eternal.
What a remarkable spirit Lisa had–it was such a gift to the world that she chose to share it so beautifully even amidst such pain. I am yet another person touched and changed by her.
My sympathies to all those who loved her.
May her memory be for a blessing.
Oh my how sad I was to hear of Lisa’s passing. I found her blog when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Her stories and the sense of community her blog created have been very helpful and comforting to me. Her courage and tenacity were inspiring. My heart goes out to her family, friends and her many followers.
Lisa – I met you only a few times, occasions when you, your brother and parents got together with us, here in Portland. I knew your father from when I volunteered in the pediatric heart clinic at OHSU. Then, I met up with your father Larry and mother Rita a few years ago when they visited Portland. This morning, reading yesterday’s New York Times ( Wednesday), I saw your notice, recognized the name, checked for your parents’ names and was sad, and full of sorrow about the journey you have been on. And, I thought about all your readers who were with you through your medical journey. I am thinking about you, your husband and children, and Rita and Larry, and your brother. I hope Rita and Larry read this, from an old Portland, Oregon friend. What a beautiful person, and beautiful gift to all of us, you wrote about and gave to us. Libby Farr
Libby – So nice of you to write. Lisa was just turning 6 when we left Portland. All the best.
Larry
Be strengthened during this tough time of medication.
Newton@Kenyatta University School of Medicine
Thanks for this. My friend who is going through chemo and has a link to this on her blog. I’m one of those people – doesn’t know what to say or do. So thanks again.
Sending your family stregth and peace. Sharing the journey online has helped so many people.
the saddest story I’ve read
https://www.youcaring.com/some-one-in-need-493283
Thanks for Sharing..
Thanks for showing support to those suffering through tough times
Still thinking of you …
My thoughts are with you. As always, thank you for letting us in. Thanks for information
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