The thousands upon thousands who knew and loved Lisa Bonchek Adams; whether in person or via Facebook, Twitter, or her website and blog read around the world; whether up close or from afar; will find it hard to believe that her steely will and indomitable spirit were finally overcome by the disease she had lived with for so many years.
Lisa died at home around 9:45 pm on Friday, March 06, 2015, surrounded by her entire family.
Lisa was cared for to the end by her beloved Dr. Chau Dang of Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Lisa specifically asked that anyone who wishes to honor her memory do so with a contribution to her fund for breast cancer research at MSKCC.
The Adams and Bonchek families send a heartfelt thank you to all for your love and support. We know that Lisa will always be a part of your lives, as she will be a part of ours.
Services consistent with her wishes will be arranged and announced here.
In keeping with Lisa’s wishes, this web site will be maintained as a resource of Lisa’s writings about metastatic breast cancer, grief and loss, life, and family.
“Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can’t find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere.”
Link to Twitter
I am so sorry.
My wife Wendy I first me Lisa almost thirty years ago. Although our main contact with Lisa over the years has been through annual holiday letters, it has been a privilege to witness the arc of her life as she and Clarke grew their family together. Our thoughts and deep hopes for peace are with family members and close friends during this difficult time.
“Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can’t find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere.”
God bless and keep Lisa and her loving family. Thank you for everything. <3
I am so very sorry. Lisa was an inspiration. I lost my 19 year old daughter to angiosarcoma of her breast in August of 2012. So not fair.
I am so sorry. Deepest sympathy and love to the family. We all learned so much from Lisa.
thank you for sharing your journey- ❤️
So sorry to hear. Heartfelt condolences and lots of love to you and your family.
I will miss Lisa’s positive tweets and applaud her service to those with Mets – providing a voice to those whose stories don’t have the movie style happy ending.
To her family and friends, my deepest sympathies. I never met Lisa but followed her progress from afar (I’m in Australia) and she was really, really special.
My condolences. I only knew her online and I will miss her. May you have love, light, and peace.
Lisa did as much as she could for as long as she could, and we are all the better for that. Loving thoughts, peace and comfort to the family and friends of this remarkable woman.
My deepest sympathy.
i am so very very saddened hearing of this news. Crying. Thank you, Lisa, for sharing your life with us all. You will forever be in our hearts and thoughts. Love you.
Saddened beyond belief.
Grateful for her depth of sharing.
My deepest condolences to all who knew and loved her.
She taught us so much. No words to express my sadness. So brave.
She brought so much beauty–she WAS beauty. So very sorry to hear this news. Keeping you all in my thoughts and in my heart. I will continue to look for beauty, to share it, as she so graciously and gracefully did.
I am so sorry to hear it. She touched my life and I will remember her and the wisdom she so unselfishly shared with us all.
I am sad but deeply grateful that you, through Lisa, are taking care of us now by writing and continuing to inform so quickly.
Peace be with you.
I’m crying Xoxoxox
My heartfelt condolences to you. Lisa helped me tremendously when I was first diagnosed and entering treatment. She had been there and was so strong; I clung to her spirit with the hope that I too would one day regain my strength, my sense of self. She was a beacon during those dark days and she has continued to inspire me ever since. What an amazing woman. Thank you for loving and supporting her. She lives on in so many hearts.
Cecily, I hope that you are doing well yourself. I know it is a long difficult journey. I wish you all the best!
Oh, I am so, so sorry. What a devastating loss. My heart is with you :,(
I am so sad to hear this news and I will miss her. My deepest condolances to her family, friends, and all who loved her.
I am so sorry to hear this! If ever there was a profile in courage…
My deepest condolences to your family. And eternal gratitude to Lisa for showing us all how to live, and how to keep finding beauty in the face of the inevitable.
I am so sorry. Sending my love and sympathy. Lisa was an incredibly precious person — she personified grace and courage and strength and integrity. She touched countless people’s lives, and I will always remember her indomitable spirit. Her strength and love and courage will continue to inspire others for many years to come, and this world is a better place for having had her in it. Wishing peace and comfort for Lisa’s beloved family.
Lisa Bonchek Adams was such a tough, big-hearted presence that it’s hard to believe she’s really gone. She was so badass (in the very best of ways) that somehow I felt she’d keep devising work-arounds–though to suggest she’d “lost a battle” would have infuriated her and would be flatly wrongheaded anyway. I never even met her in person, and her death is hitting me like a ton of bricks. Many condolences to her loved ones, and to everyone invested in her bright light.
All our love and support! May God grant you a peace in your hearts day by day.
Lisa, may you rest in peace. You truly made a difference in the world.
My heartfelt sympathy. I’ve quietly followed her blogs for a while now. Lisa taught me so much from her experiences. She was who I turned to when my close friend started treatment for kidney cancer, and was who I turned to when my friend passed away. She touched me for her bravery, her honesty, and how she used her own struggles to help others. She reminded me on bad days to find beauty in the world and to share it. I am so sorry to hear this, but I am so glad she walked this world with us. My heart goes out to you, her family.
Farewell to a gallant woman.
I am so sorry for your loss. I admired Lisa for her bravery, perseverance, and strength. May God bless you.
Heartbreaking – I am so sorry. Lisa has touched many people with her selfless sharing of her thoughts and beautiful written word. She truly did find the beauty in each and every day – and that she opened our eyes to the deeper meaning of life, love and family and the harsh realities of her disease. In turn we have found pure and sweet beauty in knowing Lisa. Everyday I wake up and check for updates and think how is Lisa? I will still think of her every day and miss her so much. Xxx
My deepest condolences to your family. I have that quote of Lisa’s on the wall of my office at work and will continue to draw inspiration from it daily.
A great person who fought for several years , will be inspiration to several.
God bless her.
Lisa was such a tough, big-hearted presence that it’s hard to believe she’s really gone. She was so badass (in the very best of ways) that I kept hoping she’d continue to devise workarounds–though to suggest she’d “lost a battle” would have infuriated her and would been flatly wrongheaded anyway. I never even met her in person, and her death is hitting me like a ton of bricks. Many condolences to her loved ones, and to everyone invested in her bright light.
She was extraordinary. I only ‘knew’ her from Twitter and her blog but she connected so strongly and taught so fiercely about being alive and cherishing life no matter what.
My love to the Bonchek and Adams family.
I do not remember how I found Lisa. I was searching for answers about how to talk, and listen, to people with serious illness. My sister-in-law had just had a craniotomy for brain tumors and we were coming to grips with the reality that nothing was going to be the same for her, and for everyone who loved her. I found this blog, and a post about what not to say to people with cancer. It was blunt, funny, and helpful. It pulled me out of denial and made me more compassionate. After that I followed her on Twitter and subscribed to the blog. Even though this day seemed inevitable, I sincerely hoped her strength and determination would give her extra years with her family, especially the children she so fiercely loved. I hope it gives comfort to those left grieving that there are so many people who have been touched by her. I am sure there will be many of us remembering, and perpetuating her Monday nags, and her daily affirmation. Those of us tweeting it will be doing so in memory of Lisa, and because it is a message that we need. Please know that you are being held in the comforting arms of many people all over the world.
My heart is broken. Lisa paved the way for all of us to know what to do when we went from breast cancer to metastatic breast cancer. I’ll always carry her with me and remember her words to me when Stage IV struck in my life, “All I can wish you is time”. May she be at peace. I send love to her family.
I can not wait to hug you XOXO Find beauty today in her honor <3
If you are able I desperately need to hear from a woman with cancer. I lost a great friend to cervical cancer March 4th this year.
I am so very sorry for the loss of such an amazing woman. My heart is heavy because I always believed there would be a last minute miracle. My prayers to her family, friends, and others like me, who found strength in her journey. I pray for a peaceful transition. <3
This is not the news I was hoping to hear. I am glad that her website will be maintained so others that are newly diagnosed or simply looking for information may read her words.
Your words were often the bit of beauty in my day during some very difficult times in my own life.
Thank you for helping me to maintain a healthy perspective on life, by sharing the ups and downs of yours.
Foolishly, I expected you to be herefor a while longer, but you will be around.
I did not know you, but I will miss you.
Oh no! I am so sorry. Lisa will be missed.
Feeling her absence so deeply tho I never met her, also, feeling the sadness of her beautiful children. I hope they find comfort and peace knowing how beloved she was by all she reached with her words, her actions, her photography, her love of flowers, her love of life, her deep love and joy in her three children. Her integrity shown through all she wrote, all she did. I am proud to say I “knew” her, even if it was just following blogs and tweets. Her life had such meaning, she taught us all so very, very much. I will think of her when I see the abundance of flowers this spring, and i will know her spirit is in their perfect beauty, their determination to bloom and be the best they can be.
this is one of the very very many comments that are so beautifully written and touch on exactly my feelings. Lisa truly helped me on this journey and I thank her family for continuing to post her words for the future cancer patients and families-and for sharing her passion about research via the Memorial Sloan Kettering fund.
My condolences to her family whom she clearly loved deeply. Her life touched many who never even met her in person (like myself). We’re better for having ‘known’ her and the beauty she brought to our world. May her family find peace in the days ahead.
I was new to this site, but it has really brought me so much comfort. I am praying for the entire family. This will not be easy, but God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. My family and I will be praying that your family will revive the comfor of the Holy Ghost.
Blessings
Sending love and sympathy to Lisa’s beautiful family.
Lisa was and will always be a guiding presence in my life. She was a caring friend. My condolences for all her loved ones near and far.
She shared so much of her journey & her words touched so many that tonight we share in your grief. Her beautiful soul is already missed.
Thinking of all of Elisa’s family & friends. May the memories always be close and comfort you.
Lisa has left the building. We are all better for having known her. What a spectacular person.
I am so sorry to hear this. Peace and blessings to you all.
I am so sorry. What an amazing woman. The world is less without her.
My deepest condolences to Lisa’s family and friends. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Just heartbroken for her children. God bless them
She was amazing in fight and spirit. She will live on forever in the hearts of those she deeply loved. Be gentle with your grieving hearts.
I am so sorry for your loss. Lisa had a profound effect on me, helping me understand about my own sister’s death from Breast Cancer. My thoughts & prayers are with you all xoxo
I am so sorry for your loss! I’m not sure how I found Lisa on Twitter, but I did, and read her wise words from time to time. I lost my mom to breast cancer eight years ago, I miss her very much and always will. Lisa was a brave lady like my mom, I will never forget her even though I did not know her personally. I know she is with her family in spirit, she loved them all so much.
I am sad. She helped so many people. I hope that is a bit of comfort to her family and friends.
Hugs.
I only knew Lisa through Twitter and the occasional replies she kindly graced me with. I feel as though I lost a friend tonight. Her humor, passion, openess, and honesty were inspiring. Lisa and her family will be in my prayers tonight at Adoration.
R.I.P.
My heartfelt condolences to her family. The world was a better place for having her in it. Hopefully, one day soon, and perhaps even in small part due to her efforts, the scourge of breast cancer will be eradicated.
May her memory be a blessing.
Thank you for this post. Lisa changed lives while she lived. I will never forget her gifts, and the way she chose to use them. She lives on in her family, in her words, and in the hearts of even those of us who met her and knew her specifically on social media and on her blog. My condolences to your extended family at the loss of this extraordinary woman.
So sorry for your loss. Her inspiring spirit will live on.
Deepest condolences. Thinking of you and yours at this time.
To the Bonchek and Adams families, deepest condolences for your loss and thank you for so generously sharing Lisa with all of us in the BC community. Lisa was one of the first women I connected with after my own dx six years ago and became an invaluable resource and treasured friend. whenever I encountered a procedure or situation that needed clarity, I could always count on Lisa to offer her sound guidance. even as she faced mounting challenges with her own health, she was always there supporting others with a kind word, joke, or resource. We are all better for having known her, and as painful as this is, we must all find it in our selves to continue the dialogues she started and continue to be her voice for issues that were important to her.
I will continue to look for a bit of beauty every day, in honor of you, Lisa, but it will be with the heaviest of hearts — but because Lisa would accept nothing less from herself, I will persevere.
Lisa was brutally and poetically realistic about the disease and its progress, a true inspiration; we should not pretend surprise that this cancer killed her. It’s certainly not a character flaw that it did. She was awesome. We must find ways to build on Lisa’s efforts to attack later-stage cancers through research and other kinds of support.
I am so very sorry. With love to you all .
Heartbroken. Lisa clearly stated this day would come because there is no cure for metastatic breast cancer. Yet she did everything medicine could offer her to extend her time with her precious family. We never met but did correspond from time to time. She was the strongest, bravest, most determined person I have ever known. I am devastated.
Lisa will be truly missed by not only her family but by all of us around the world who have been touched by her beauty. Thank you for leaving us with her writings.
No words; just sorrow. Lisa’s words were the first clear and honest portrayal of metastatic breast cancer that I had ever read. My sympathies to her entire family.
I have no words that feel adequate enough.
Sending love, prayers and healing to the families.
OMGosh, I’m sooo sad hearing that Lisa has gone… What an amazing, strong, determined and positive woman… Lisa you gave sooo much inspiration to women all over the globe living with metastatic breast cancer, your will to live was so immense, it was tangible….
No more suffering, no more looking for different treatments… Rest in peace now, may you be always surrounded in love….. Condolences to your loving family…..
Oh no. This is heartbreaking news. L I don’t think I ever really allowed myself to believe that she would not get better. Rest in Peace, Lisa, I will never forget you.
I am so sorry. Sending my love to everyone who loved Lisa.
My heartfelt condolences to all who loved Lisa. She made a difference in this world, and will continue to do so. I made many a doctor appointment thanks to her Monday pleads. I’ll miss her deeply.
My deepest condolences. Lisa’s steadfast love for her family and determination to live and find beauty in the darkest of situations has changed so many lives. My heart hurts that she is gone. I am so thankful for the lessons she taught and the comfort her words will bring to all who read them in the days, weeks, months & years to come. We were all very blessed to have known her in person or online through her words. The world gives you, her family a great big cyber hug and beautiful thoughts as you move on through your lives without her. I can only imagine that the loss of her presence will leave a gaping hole in the lives of her family. XOXOXO
i am so sorry for your loss. Lisa’s candour and articulate writing was truly inspirational. Her deep love for her family, her appreciation of nature and her endless positivity for all who are struggling with this insidious disease was and will continue to be a great source of comfort. I know there will be a huge void in your lives, as there will be for many of her friends and supporters in her cyber-network. God bless you xxx
I’m so incredibly sorry to hear this. I recently lost my twin sister to this same wretched disease. I send all of my prayers to her loved ones left behind to morn her wonderful spirit.
Very sad news. She will be missed. My deepest sympathy to the family.
I am so sorry. Lisa did´t know me, but I knew Lisa over the past 2 years, and was blown away by her courage and wisdom. To her husband and kids that she adored – I hope you find much comfort and pride in knowing that your wife and mom was such a warm, wise and inspiring woman to so many people. I´ll be thinking of Lisa often.
Love from Norway xxx
In Memorium – for Lisa Bonchek Adams
I will not say
All the things
You never wanted said
When you died.
I will not say you fought a battle
Or fought the good fight
Or passed away
When you are now dead.
I will not tell your children you are an angel
Watching over them from Heaven above
I will respect your wishes and they will simply know
How desperately they were loved.
I will never wear a pink ribbon
Or talk about your journey
As if it was some kind of pretty little bow
So pink and so pretty
As if it wasn’t metastatic cancer
That took you from us
As if it wasn’t something so shitty
I will not live in euphemisms
And placate those who don’t want to be sad
I will simply tell the world in between my tears
You were the best teacher of life
And death
I ever had.
Goodnight sweet Lisa. ❤️
Beautiful
Your poem is so fitting and very touching.
Thank you, Elizabeth, for “getting it” so beautifully. Lisa would have loved your poem, as do we.
Lisa’s Dad
This beautiful and so meaningful poem couldn’t be more perfect in memory of this very special woman. Thank you! I’m only sorry she can’t read it.
Dear Elizabeth,
I just read the poetic and lovely tribute you wrote to Lisa. It is truly beautiful and respectful of Lisa’s beliefs. Thank you for that.
May her children and husband live each day for the rest of their lives, knowing their mother and wife was such an incredibly beautiful, intelligent and loving human being.
No pink for me.
Deborah in Montana
Perfection.
Many sincere thanks, especially to Lisa’s brother and her dad, as well as her friends and followers, for the extremely kind comments about my poem to Lisa. It was the only way I knew how to honor her; I hope she would’ve liked it. She’s been on my mind all day, as has her family and friends. I will never forget her. She truly changed my life for the better. Rest easy Lisa, you have earned your peace for now, and always.
Wow…love this!
So very sorry for you all. I send you all peace and love that her beautiful spirit will live on through all of you .
Ciao Lisa, I am sorry. It’s too hard to accept this. Thanks for all the words
that were the light of the world. My love to the family. Rossella from Italy
I am so very sorry. She taught me so much and her strength and honesty were a gift that will continue to live beyond what she could imagine. She will be remembered, always.
I found this site years ago, shortly after my dear friend’s young daughter was taken by metastatic breast cancer. Lisa taught me so much about this disease that touches far too many of our lives, that leaves far too many husbands, parents, brothers, sisters, friends and, hardest of all, children without the women they love and need.
I’m happy that Lisa got as much time with her family as she did. I’m heartbroken that she didn’t get more. I was so hoping she would at least be able to enjoy the wonder of just one more spring in her garden . . .
Ciao Lisa, it’s too hard to accept this.
I will miss you and your words. My love to family. Rossella from Italy
RIP Lisa. You were so brave throughout and tried to find the good in every day. So sorry to hear of your passing .
Dammit. I will miss reading Lisa’s writing so much. Even though it was clear that she was so very ill, it seemed incomprehensible that she wouldn’t always be around. It still seems so. My deepest sympathies to her family and friends, especially her children. It’s a very, very sad day.
My deepest condolences to Lisa’s family. I’ve felt privileged to learn from her – from her determination, courage and willingness to be open and honest about her life with this dreadful disease. My heart goes out to you all xxx
Peace be with you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
My dear Lisa (RIP),
You were the teacher, the inspiration, and one brave lady to thousands and thousands of followers who love you and thank you.
My prayers are with the children, her husband, and the Bonchek-Adams families.
Sincere condolences. Will be a thinking of you all.
I am so sad that Lisa has died. Her mom Rita was such a great help to me so many years ago, and now I send condolences to her family. I am deeply saddened. Lisa adored her husband and 3 children. When she would write about them or her beloved inlaws you knew the capacity she had for love. I am amazed at the lives she has touched around the world. You will be missed, Lisa. XO
Heartbroken. Please …compile Lisa ‘s writings a book. I want to carry her with me and share her helps and poems in a book .
My heart is heavy at this news. I cannot believe that her voice has been silenced.
May her family find comfort in knowing that her body is at rest, free of pain, and that she was loved by thousands upon thousands. May that love left you up.
For the friends and family who loved Lisa, I am so sorry. I am sorry for those of us who never met her in person or shook her hand or hugged her neck for being so funny and brave in the face of something so frightening. Love and light to all of you.
I send love to your family, Lisa.
I send gratitude, admiration, respect and eternal love to you.
I will look for beauty in the world every single day, in your memory.
I will spend time in my garden, and remember the vivid, unique colors of yours.
You’ve been a magnificent teacher.
Your students will miss you and remember the lessons you’ve taught us, and will continue to teach us, forever.
Thank you.
I searched Lisa’s Twitter feed last night and found myself lingering on the last photos she posted of the flowers in her garden that she loved so much. I will think of her when my own flowers bloom this spring, and remember how important it truly is to treasure every moment with the things, people and places I love. My deepest condolences to her family and friends.
Lisa made a difference in so many people’s lives by sharing her journey. My thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends and all who fight th cancer monster each day.
Lisa was such a gift to us all. Through her I learned so much. My heart breaks for her husband and children, and all who knew her closely. She was an amazing person as all of us know. Many thoughts and prayers to you all.
Lisa was an inspiration. May #bitofbeauty live on.
With heavy heart and a heart of appreciation I send my condolences to Lisa’s family and all who love her. She modeled perserverance in illness with the greatest of dignity and taught us to never forget the blessings in each new day, even in the presence of struggle and pain. She showed us life’s purpose and sent us that all important message to try your hardest and never to give up. In the end, some things, life, are no longer in our control. Her memory lives on, that much we can control. Lisa lives on in our hearts.
I am so sad. For Lisa, for her family, and for all of us. I came to know and love Lisa online. She has so honest and strong and good. She taught me and so many others so much about living and about dying. She was always gracious and kind, She was fierce and brave. Her willingness and ability to speak honestly, thoughtfully, and deeply about her cancer, her treatments, her family, and her life has been and will continue to be an invaluable gift to me.
Peace be with all who were touched by this amazing woman.
Even though I knew this day would come, I’m sitting here with tears running down my face. I didn’t know Lisa either and don’t remember how I found her. It was amazing to me that she could write so beautifully when she was so sick and going through such awful treatments. At least her suffering is over. I know how much her family will miss her.
Another wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend lost to this vile disease.
Sincere condolences to her family and everyone who knew her.
RIP Lisa
My heartfelt condolences to the friends and family of Lisa. She was one in a million…we were lucky to have her in our lives. I only discovered her and her blog a few months ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer..she was so strong and such an inspiration in the face of so much adversity. Rest in peace Lisa – you will be missed.
I’m so very sorry to hear this news. Despite never having met Lisa I’m really going to miss her. My thoughts are with her family
Nothing mattered more to her than her than being a mother. Everything she did, every word she spoke and wrote, was in service to her children and her motivation to help guide and nurture them — then, now, always.
I am so sorry. I only knew her online but her strength and determination was contagious. Her wish to educate all was inspiring.
I always carried a piece of hope with me for her. I am very sadden by this news. Sending prayers to her family for inner peace. RIP sweet Lisa.
Our god is with you, at the beginning and at the end of this life.
My deepest condolences. Wishing comfort and peace to Lisa’s family. I am sure you know that her words educated, inspired, and helped so many of us. Her courageous example will stay with me always.
So deeply saddened to hear about Lisa’s death. Although I only knew her through her blog, her thoughts and perspective on living with breast cancer were extraordinary. She will forever be remembered. My thoughts go out to her friends and family. She will be greatly missed by all who had the honor to know her.
I was one of so many people who read Lisa’s blog and twitter account and who felt connected to her solely through those mediums. A few emails had passed between us a number of years back as my father had died when I was 12 and I found her directness with her own children about her cancer profoundly moving. Here is sit this morning and feel a knot in my stomach. I am angry. Her children shouldn’t have lost their mother last night. In her honor, I will donate money to her breast cancer fund. And, as small as the amount may be, I will donate some amount each month. To her husband and children, words fail me. I am so sorry seems absurd to write. I know that all these years later, when someone tells me they think of my father, remember something he did or wrote, it strengthens me somehow. It reminds me of how I am connected him — and will miss him — through my entire life. Lisa Bonchek Adams will be remembered by waves and waves of people for years to come. Her impact was profound, indelible, permanent.
Sending condolences to Lisa’s family and friends. I will miss reading her words and seeing her tweets of beautiful photos.
I am so truly and deeply sorry. She was one of my heroes and her spirit was unstoppable. I will be sharing about her on my own breast cancer blood I hope you don’t mind. Goodbye Lisa and thank you
I am so sad. Sending a hug to her children (in particular).
I have admired Lisa for her courage, her strength and her honesty to share this most difficult of “journeys” with us. I cannot believe she is gone. My heartfelt condolences to everyone who loved her. RIP, Lisa.
I am so sorry about your loss. Prayers for your family.
Damn, this was hard to hear this morning. Peace to Lisa and peace to those who mourn her.
My heart breaks! Lisa showed us all how to live with kindness, hope, strength and love. I never met Lisa, but I felt I knew her and she was a friend. I send my love to her family.
I offer you my deepest condolences. Words are never enough at this time, but I hope you will take comfort in two things: Lisa’s crucifixion and suffering are ended; and her shining example and inspiration live on.
Even though we only chatted via Twitter, or exchanged the occasional message, I feel like I’ve lost a good friend.
She was beautiful, articulate, kind, strong. I’ll miss her.
My love and condolences to Lisa’s amazing family and friends. My thoughts are with you all.
Sue
xxx
“trouver un peu de beauté dans le monde aujourd’hui.Partagez-le.Si vous ne pouvez pas le trouver,créer.Certains jours,ce qui peut être difficile à faire.Persévérer”
Rip Lisa
Marie
My heartfelt condolences to Lisa’s family and friends. Wishing comfort and peace to her family.
Lisa will be remembered with a smile and deep gratitude. The way she chose to live is marvelous. Through this blog, she will continue to help people around the world with her wisdom and strength, and most of all, love.
Lisa and her writings were a #bitofbeauty, actually more like a world of beauty. My heart goes out to her family and everyone who will miss her dearly.
What a terrible loss. What an incredible legacy. Thank you all for your generosity in sharing Lisa with the world.
I am heartbroken for Lisa’s family. She was incredibly brave and generous. Condolences.
I’ve never been much of a gardener, but this year I’ll plant flowers in the little plot by my front door, and remember Lisa when I tend to them.
So very sorry to hear this news. Was so hoping that her dogged determination to live would keep her going until some new drug was found that would save her. Alas, it was not to be. Loss my dear niece to this dreadful disease less than a year ago . May her family and friends be comforted by the love she had for them and for all mankind.
Every life is touched by others. Lisa’s life here touched mine and for that I am grateful. The way she lived her life is proof that one person CAN make a difference. My most sincere sympathy to her family & friends. May Lisa’s joy and love always be in your hearts.
I am unbelievably sorry to hear this. She was such a strong woman. I pray that she finds peace now and her beautiful memory lives on in her children. May they find the strength to get through this and always know the amount of love she carried for them in her heart, that we found in her writings. Rest in Peace
bummer… she’ll be missed….
We were happy to be able to see Lisa this past summer, and shared a wonderful lunch. Typical Lisa: she wanted to hear about our lives and provide love and support for our troubles. We have and will continue to cherish those memories, and all the memories, way back to her Rutgers days.
Dear Adams family, I have always admired Lisa’s strength and attachment to a life that, for sure, you helped to make wonderful even in the scary face of disease. Her example is an encouragement to science, research and compassion between human beings. I am also sure that for how much I will miss her both rational and passionate updates, I cannot even imagine how much you will miss her smile and voice. Her legacy rests in the hearts of those she touched, and I hope in their brain to foster a wider knowledge of cancer and the need to fund research. We can and will beat this disease!
I’m so sorry. I’ll miss you Lisa, but those of us still here will pass along to others all you’ve taught and shared with us. All my love and condolences to Lisa’s family and friends.
Lisa left behind an amazing directory of how to fully participate in your own treatment of your illness, whatever it may be. It should be published and handed out to those who are beginning their medical journey. She was amazing in all ways. I’m so sorry that the world has lost an incredible voice, but more sorry for the loss to her husband, children and family and friends.
I met Lisa, like so many others online, when first diagnosed with breast cancer. Her words of wisdom and determination have carried me and many others for the past few years. I carry her bit of beauty in my heart and relay it to so many people. She taught me how to be an advocate for myself and it is because of Lisa, that I have a detailed and well-organized cancer binder. I, like many others, so loved to read her tweets, her lessons and poems and the sweet little messages about Lucy, her beloved corgi as well as Tristansaidit. She was so very proud of her three young children and it is a definite that they will mature into loving, responsible, socially-conscious young adults and her words will be with them every step of the way. Thank you Lisa for your words, poems, beautiful photographs. I wished you time and you certainly made the most of it although far to short. My deepest and heartfelt sympathies to the Bonchek and Adams family! Lisa, you and your determination, wisdom and indomitable spirit were my bit of beauty ever day. I will miss you! Thank you for your lessons.
Tho I’d never met Lisa, we chatted frequently on Twitter. A comment from her always lifted my day. I will always admire her ability to keep her humor and light in the face of what must have been unimaginable physical and emotional struggles. The world is greatly diminished without her.
I had hoped Lisa would be here long enough to see another spring. May her family find comfort in the beautiful garden which was her life.
Lisa touched me and others like no one else and shared with honesty the metastatic journey. How she helped me and others is difficult to put into words, but she made a difference more than any other “writer”, counselor, friend. She shared in every line, every pause, every syllable her love for her family and for helping us all understand and cope and I will be forever grateful. Deepest condolences to her family and her world of internet friends as we realize that we are now on our own, but truly with the best teacher’s direction. Lisa’s prose and poetry and garden photos and descriptions became my bits of beauty. I will miss her but most importantly I will remember her and her passion towards the Memorial Sloan Kettering Research Fund that I will share and follow.
Lisa was a ray of sunshine. Daughter, student, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, advocate, gardener, dog lover, car lover, patient, teacher. Her humor shone through even in the worst of times and her wisdom and love renewed our souls. Shine on Dear Lisa.
To Lisa’s family, I offer my deepest sympathies. I have been following Lisa’s blogs and tweets for a little over two years. I found her to be so knowledgable and so eager to share. She actually called me to order with her find a bit of beauty mantra. I stopped feeling sorry myself and started to appreciate each day and live in the moment. My heart is heavy and yet I didn’t know Lisa personally. It was obvious that she was loved and well cared for by her family and medical team. I know that
That love will sustain you all. My hope is that her strength, love, determination and appreciation of all things big and small will be with the children always. She was an extroidinary woman and certainly be missed.
Peace and comfort to you all during this difficult time.
So so sorry.Lisa was a true Woman of Valor &while fighting this brave fight she would tweet about every day topics post cute dog pics&always a strong inspiration to everyone.
Thank you for the courage, inspiration and light you brought to so many. I shall miss you. My deepest condolences to your family and friends.
Loved Lisa’s joie de vivre and inspiration. My condolences to all her knew her and especially her family.
It’s hard to know someone you’ve never met, whose voice you’ve never heard. But a lot of us knew Lisa. She was — is — an inspiration. Screw those people at the Times; she fought bravely, and well.
My last interaction with her came this January, when I was in Abu Dhabi and trying to get some donuts delivered to her (she’d had a hankering on FB). She told me not to worry about it, and asked after my trip, and expressed concern that my bags were lost! That last bit floored me. That she could worry about my bags, in her condition: that was the Lisa I admired so much.
So so sorry to hear. She inspired me to appreciate little beauties & every moment with my kids. She was remarkable and made such an impact on so many.
Words fail to convey the sense of loss that Lisa’s passing brings. I would wake up and check her feed to see how she was doing. Her bravery in the face of such a horrible disease was beyond mortal. Sincerest condolences and peace to her husband, her children, her family, her close friends and to this community who loved her. She will not be forgotten.
Very sad news on this beautiful Saturday morning. I hope many of her followers will donate to MSKCC. We so desperately need a cure. Too many of our mothers, sisters, daughters and friends, are being taken much too soon by this terrible disease. My condolences to her family & friends.
Lisa was someone who helped me to deal with my own BC Dx and treatment. Her caring, thougtful and purpose driven life that she shared with others so openly was a shining light for me. I will find and share a bit of beauty in this world as long as I am here because of her.
My deep condolences to the family. I stumbled upon Lisa’s blog a couple of years ago. She was a strong woman. May she rest in peace.
Lisa was so open and generous with her updates, sharing the details of her life, her treatments, and her feelings. These last few weeks have been private with long stretches of silence that left us wondering and in the dark. I so hoped that this hard time was going to pass and Lisa would have more days ahead. I am shocked and devastated, even though she repeatedly prepared us this day would come.
To Lisa’s family and close friends: My deepest condolences. Thank you for taking care of her. Thank you for sharing this remarkable woman with us, allowing her to give so much of herself to us. This is truly an immense loss for so many.
Lisa was a hero. And we will persevere for her.
Heartbreaking and tragic. She taught us so much. Looking to find a thing a beauty today and remembering her legacy. I hope she finds an eternity of beauty. Thinking of her young, devoted family. Bless them in their time of grief.
I was hoping she would see her garden bloom this spring.
Her good humor, and her passion for life she shared with us all will be sorely missed. Condolences to her family.
I first “met” Lisa on Twitter some time in 2010, when she was still in remission. We chatted and the following year she volunteered to be in a story I wrote for SELF Magazine about foodborne illness; she also participated in a social-media chat about the story that was very widely shared. Afterward we kept in touch, and I read her on Twitter daily, along with her thousands of other followers and admirers. She was warm, thoughtful, gracious, dignified, devastatingly candid and so brave. I will miss her very much. I hope the knowledge of how widely loved she was and remains can be a comfort to you.
Lisa provided me information i needed about the disease and how to be a better friend, daughter, sister to those in my life with cancer. She touched me deeply with her words. I am a better person for all she gave of herself ….to strangers no less. Her legacy is immeasurable. I am sorry for her family’s loss. I cry with you today. Peace be with you.
Thank you for writing and sharing. Rest in peace. Love and peace to your family.
I am so sad and so sorry for your loss. I didn’t know Lisa except through her blog, but it was clear what a special person she was. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
My condolences. Lisa, you will be missed.
I was so sad to read this news this morning. I have been following Lisa’s story and hoping that all of her fighting would mean she could beat the cancer. It takes so much courage to do what she did. My thoughts and prayers to her family especially her children. There is a little comfort in knowing that she is now above us and at peace.
i only know Lisa via social media but along with the 1000s of others who followed, she inspired me deeply. What a brave beautiful spirit. May her memory be for a blessing
My heartfelt condolences to Lisa’s family. She was truly amazing.
Very hard to hear this news…Lisa helped me journey through the days I deal with during my mother’s current bcmets dx. Her family is in my thoughts- Lisa will always be in my memory xo.
I am so saddened to hear this. We all knew it was coming, and soon but when it happens it still stings with it’s finality. My prayers go out to her husband and children, whom she loved more than words can ever say. She changed the world for the better, and that’s more than most people can ever take credit for. Her memory will live on in our hearts and minds, and with the words and knowledge that she passed on to us, we will all be better for it. May she rest in peace forever, having left her pain and suffering behind when she took her last breath. I will never forget her braveness, and bravado. She was one of a kind.
Rest in peace Lisa.
You will be missed.
The moon was shining full and bright last night…couldn’t help but think of Lisa, whose observations, honesty and spirit illuminated the way for so many of us. My heart goes out to those who knew and loved her.
I was up and out at 4:30am, while making my way to my rescue squad on a icy/treacherous country road; the moon was shining/glistening on the snow. I thought about Lisa and for some reason knew she was no longer with us. I pulled off the road and got out of my car and just stood in the 10 degree weather-taking it all in. I said fare thee well to Lisa and thanked her for helping me during my breast and uterine cancer tryst. I shall miss her, her wit and honesty…rest in peace.
Lisa was a very special person who touched the lives of many. I loved her clear-eyed approach to her medical treatments. She was never maudlin about her situation. She simply presented the facts…even when it was clear that she was running out of options. Many thanks to her family for sharing her with us. We will miss her.
I am so,so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful person, inside and out, she must have been. My prayers are with you.
My deepest sympathies to Lisa’s family. Knowing Lisa is no longer in pain will be a comfort to those who loved her. I don’t think many will view spring flowers blooming without thinking of Lisa.
Lisa was such an amazing woman. I read all of her posts and even though I have no experience with cancer myself, she was an inspiration as a woman who fought a battle with great strength, giving of herself to others as an educator and inspiration to live life every day to it’s fullest, and to give back to others in the end. Lisa, you will be missed but your fight is over and you can rest in peace now. Thank you
My thoughts go to all of you and her beautiful spirit that is in a different place. Hope this blog will help someone else battling the same to endure or get diagnosed and treated. I lost my wonderful mom to this disease not a club I wish anyone else to join.
To LIsa’s husband, three children, and parents (I know all of your names, through Lisa, but I don’t want to sound overfamiliar): My heart goes out to you on this terrible loss. It seems so very soon, much too soon. I felt that I had been waiting for spring right along with Lisa.
You know how very many people Lisa has touched with her amazing mind and heart, and I just want you to know how much of a difference she made to me also. The very night (May 9, 2013) of my diagnosis with a rare form of uterine cancer (papillary serous carcinoma), I reached out to Lisa because we had some time before begun chatting via twitter. Within hours Lisa was there for me- someone she had never met- giving me her thoughts, some asked-for advice, and a great deal of vicarious strength. We kept in touch through my treatment and during Lisa’s continuing treatments, although much less so lately. When I wrote about cancer at my NPR blog Lisa’s voice was the strongest and smartest of all.
Over these years — before and after my finding out that I had cancer also– I read not only about Lisa’s disease, her way of meeting it head-on, her straight-on approach to speaking with the media or medical students or whomever was ready to listen- but about all of you, in what Lisa wanted to share with the wider world.
I send you all my condolences and also my joy at all the love in your family. Lisa’s impact on all of us will live on for a very long time.
Barbara
Barbara J. King
Sending gratitude for her determination, and for the ability to connect with her through her blog and tweets. Sending strength and comfort to her sweet family and dear friends who will miss her. And sending a check to continue her work.
Damn. I will miss her too.
My deepest sympathy to the family she loved. Lisa taught me so much about how to live with this disease and inspired me with her heroic grace. As I saw her getting close to the end these last weeks, all I could think about is how she had recently written how much she loved hearing the laughter of her family around the dinner table from her bed. She was sustained by the love of her dear family.
My deepest sympathy. The world will be a little emptier without Lisa.
Sending my condolences to her family. I hope you will take some comfort from the impact Lisa had on so very many lives. I never met her but through social media and we exchanged notes now and then. She was so inspiring and so strong we, many of us, believed that somehow she would win. Of course she did, in her way, by touching so many lives. So very sorry for your loss.
I am so very very sorry to read this news. Lisa was such an inspiration. Her spirit and honesty in such challenging circumstances was truely amazing. I will never forget her ♥
A mighty tree has fallen.
Love to Lisa’s entire family- and hopefully her children will one day be able to find peace in her beautiful writings. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I know I’m in good company with so many others this morning, crying for a woman whom I had never actually met. Even through the ravages of her cancer, Lisa was so *alive.* I knew things had gotten bad and that the journey was likely soon over – one thing I learned from Lisa and the fellow travelers she connected us to through Twitter and the blog was how fast it can reach the end – but somehow it still seemed impossible to believe.
I know that Jude, Ann, Annie, and others who had died in the past year had been on her mind lately. I hope they are all resting in peace, but it is so wrong that they’re not here. I will miss you, sweet and courageous Lisa. Thank you.
Dear Adams and Bonchek Families,
We are so very sorry to hear about the passing of Lisa. She was a lightening rod…a strong woman dealing with an unrelenting disease. Her writings were raw, unguarded and candid. Every great woman has her critics. Even when bricks were thrown, she took those bricks and created a firm foundation on which to build. When I hear those around me protest about getting older, I remind them getting older is a privilege, as not all people get to grow old. When I see the laugh lines on my face or the gray in my husband’s hair, I am thankful. When I sit in a chair in a doctor’s office, I think of all the people that sat there before me and wonder what secrets the chair is holding. Thank you, Lisa! Today, the world is a bit darker…the blogosphere a little quieter…our hearts fairly broken. Today and everyday we can honor Lisa’s legacy by following her daily request to “Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can’t find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere.” The world is a much better place because Lisa was in it. Thank you, Lisa, for a life well lived, an integrity that is unshakeable, and a lifetime of honest guidance that will forever live in all the people you touched.
I followed Lisa online and was amazed at her ability to share her journey with others. She was such an inspiration! As a BC survivor, I know there are so, so many who were lifted up and supported by her words. Hugs and prayers for the hearts of all of her family and friends. She will live forever in the sunshine, her favorite flowers, the morning mist, the evening shade and the stars. Those we love don’t go away, the walk beside us every day. Unseen – unheard, but always here. Still loved, still missed, still very near.
I am so sorry. She was an inspiration and an amazing person even though I only knew her through her blog. I believe that her selflessness through sharing her experiences will help others as well as hopefully further science so we can end this horrible disease. You are all in my prayers.
So unfair to her sweet children…prayers for them, her husband and family.
I found Lisa’s blog while looking for answers after finding out my sister in law had metastatic breast cancer. She was diagnosed just three months before Lisa and I could compare. It was helpful for me to read Lisa’s writings to somehow help me with things. I lost my sister in law day before Thanksgiving just three months ago. I am sorry for your loss! Lisa helped a lot of people in her great writings.
A gallant woman indeed. My her memory be a blessing to your family. May her public legacy, this blog, continue to inspire, anger, and provide solace to so many women.
My heartfelt condolences to Lisa’s husband, three beautiful children, family and friends. Like many leaving comments here, I only knew of Lisa through her blog and twitter but what an enormous impact she’s had on so many of us here in the US and around the world.
I lost my mother to cancer at 16 and she never really talk about it with me before she died. Reading Lisa’s posts about the talks she had with her kids about her illness were awe inspiring and beautiful. They helped me to heal a part of my own heart 31 years later.
In honor of you Lisa, I will make the most of this day and everyday. I will give to your metastatic bc fund. I will plant flowers and tend them with love in the spring. I will be cognizant of how absolutely unfair it is that your time with your own kids was cut short when I am with my own. I will create bits of beauty to share with others to help carry on your beautiful legacy. And the bit of beauty I will relish today are the stories you told of driving your son to his baseball games last summer. Your love and happiness shone in those moments and so many others.
It is hard to accept that such a vibrant voice has been stilled. My deepest sympathies to her beloved family. Thank you for maintaining her site which will allow her to continue to inform and inspire. RIP Lisa.
I am so sorry for your loss. Like most, I knew Lisa only through her online presence, and I will miss her tremendously. I can only guess at the hole in the hearts of her family and friends at this loss, and I hope that her children will always know that they were the center of everything to her, as that shone through everything Lisa said and did.
Also, my thoughts are with Dr. Chau Dang, as Lisa’s love and admiration for her doctor were always present in her writings. I will make a donation to MSKCC in Lisa’s memory and as thanks to Dr. Dang.
Desde Santiago de Chile mis mas sentidas condolencias a la familia.
Gracias por todo Lisa.
As tears run down my face I want to tell her family what an inspiration Lisa was to me. I’ve been following her and am so saddened to hear of her passing. She fought this horrible disease with such strength! I’ll remember her always. May you rest in peace Lisa.
I lost my first comment because of a posting error, but took the energy to write another one because I selfishlly need to mourn her death and celebrate who she was…
I am heartbroken to read of Lisa’s death, and can’t quite take in that such a light is gone. I began to read Lisa’s blog when I read about that New York Times article where the writer criticized her writing about what is really like having cancer, saying one should be quiet and hidden about having cancer. She burst through that claptrap with such honesty and will, love and strength. She taught us about finding inspiration in our days, but also about making good, informed decisions about treatment choices. LISA is one of main reasons I began to share what I am feeling and doing with an extensive group of friends, and she wisely understood that doing that dissipates almost all of the paralyzing fear we feel at times, and keeps us open to the love and support that is there. Her light, her strength of will, her advice and insight, will live on in us. As I am about to enter Hospice after five years of MBC, I am, and will, draw on all the wisdom she shared with us. I dearly hope that her devastated family can begin to feel the love from us that surrounded Lisa. Wishing them peace…
Sad to hear of Lisa’s passing. Such a beautiful , courageous woman. Condolences to her family.
Wishing you strength and courage during your own journey and hoping that you too are surrounded by those whom love you. Life is many things however, FAIR is definitely not one of them.
Wishing you peace and comfort as well Molly. Gentle hugs.
Molly, what a beautiful post. I wish you’d had more time too.
Not selfish at all when you took the energy and time to post such a wonderful comment; at a time when you’re fighting your own battle!
Before us great Death stands
Our fate held close within his quiet hands
When with proud joy we lift Life’s red wine
To drink deep of the mystic shining cup
And ecstasy through all our being leaps – –
Death bows his head and weeps.
Rainier Maria Rilke
She fought the good fight. She will be missed. RIP Lisa
So sorry to read this. Thank you for sharing your journey. Many condolences to her family.
So sorry to hear this. I have followed her for some time and was awed by her strength and willingness to share this most difficult journey. My deepest sympathies to her family and loving friends. I will miss her.
Heartbroken . Sending strength and love to all those who knew and loved Lisa.
Her words and wisdom will live on in the words of her sister advocates.
I am saddened for the loss of a life way too some. I have followed her journey and shared with my friends as we are on that same journey . Condolences to all her family that she loved so dearly.
Heartfelt condolences to Lisa’s dearly loved family. I have followed her for just over a year, and learned so much from her in that time. May a bit of beauty from her life fill your memories each day.
Sorry for your loss.
Gone too soon.
I’m so sorry!
Every good wish to all who mourn, then lift our heads with beautiful memories and go on as best we can, though forever changed. When I read Lisa’s last post, I didn’t know how to respond as it was a word picture of our last weeks with our beautiful daughter, Heather, about Lisa’s age, lost to the same devastating illness on January 15th. We take comfort in knowing their time with us made a difference, made the world a better place. And in our hearts we will always hold them near, Linda
Wishing strength and courage to all of Lisa’s family. I will always be grateful to Lisa for helping me keep strong throughout my breast cancer treatment of the last year. May her memory be a blessing for many!
My deepest sympathy to the entire family.
While Lisa taught us a lot about death, she taught us way more about life, and how to live it. The beauty she taught us to look for daily was represented in how she lived her life. She had the beauty within.
I first “met” Lisa when we lost our beloved Barbara, my friend and her dear mother-in-law. We shared our grief at the unfairness of it all. She was a valuable resource to me with my cancer hell which followed shortly after.
It is hard to believe that Lisa’s fierce spirit and voice have been silenced, even though it was evident that the end was near. She lived and died with grace and dignity and truly was “one brave chick”.
Condolences to her loving families….may her spirit live on forever in her beautiful children.
My deepest condolences to your family. Eternal gratitude to Lisa for inspiring and provoking us with her life’s experiences.
Dear Lisa’s family: i join the heartbroken in bidding goodbye to your cherished Lisa. I think she shared her journey with us so that in her absence we would still feel the light she illuminated and the difference she made for so many in a too short life. Please take care, with love, jen
[…] Lisa Bonchek Adams, a prominent online writer who inspired and provoked readers with her extensive writing on her experience with cancer, died Friday evening. […]
I’m so saddened by this news. Thank you Lisa for sharing so much with us.
To the Adams and Bonchek Families,
My sincerest and heartfelt sympathies to you upon Lisa’s passing. Lisa was an extraordinary woman. Her great love for her children, husband, parents and siblings and good friends, enabled her to find the fight an often unbeatable foe. She did this with perseverance, an iron will and an extraordinary strength to fight all her obstacles and limitations brought on by this horrendous disease. She did it with a steely determination and yet, at the same time, a wonderful grace and appreciation for all the beauty of life around her-her children, her husband and mother, her garden and it’s lovely flowers, a robin flitting across the snow, and she urged all her readers to take the time to appreciate the beautiful things in life that surround all of us, in whatever circumstance in life that we may find ourselves.
I will never forget her. Her kindness, her love, her compassion and her strength and determination to live on against all odds. She never gave up her battle with the disease nor her mighty will to live.
She truly was a magnificent woman. May she rest in peace.
With great sorrow and heartfelt condolences,
Barbara R. Shernoff
Barbara, you’ve expressed my feelings about Lisa so perfectly.
RIP to a talented writer and educator. Lisa’s love for her family is something all of us could learn from. I will not forget her beautiful words. Gone too soon…
A wonderful person has passed away, way too early. Yet until the end she found the strength to be an inspiration and a teacher, freely sharing her wit, empathy and wisdom with everyone in the world that needed help facing a difficult diagnosis for themselves or a loved one – that is, all of us, at multiple points in our lives.
My heartfelt condolences to her family and friends.
I had hoped to one day meet Lisa, but felt that I knew her through her posting and writings. To me, she was a gentle and loving soul who fought her disease with all she had: her intellect, heart, soul and body. Lisa leaves a legacy for all who live with metastatic breast cancer about the importance of living your life to the fullest every day, about advocacy for more research and about the power of sharing your journey with others. I observed a loving wife and mother who by living her life her own way and teaching the world by example about life with stage IV breast cancer. That’s a powerful life and message!
May she rest in peace, love, sunshine and rainbows. I pray for her family’s acceptance, peace and that they will find comfort in their memories.
Dear Family and Friends of Lisa,
When my dearest friend died two years ago after an impossibly short battle with cancer, I discovered Lisa’s blog “When I die” and read it to her children, husband, family and large circle of friends at memorial in Ottawa, Canada. Lisa’s uncompromising and plain spoken guide for confronting death helped us frame the shocking death of a friend we dearly miss.
Just as Lisa’s word helped a group of strangers so far away, I am copying her blog again here to remind us all of her wise and steely thoughts on death:
“When I die don’t think you’ve lost me.
I’ll be right there with you, living on in the memories we have made.
When I die don’t say I “fought a battle.” Or “lost a battle.” Or “succumbed.”
Don’t make it sound like I didn’t try hard enough, or have the right attitude, or that I simply gave up.
When I die don’t say I “passed.”
That sounds like I walked by you in the corridor at school.
When I die tell the world what happened.
Plain and simple.
No euphemisms, no flowery language, no metaphors.
Instead, remember me and let my words live on.
Tell stories of something good I did.
Give my children a kind word. Let them know what they meant to me. That I would have stayed forever if I could.
Don’t try to comfort my children by telling them I’m an angel watching over them from heaven or that I’m in a better place:
There is no better place to me than being here with them.
They have learned about grief and they will learn more.
That is part of it all.
When I die someday just tell the truth:
I lived, I died.
The end.
Jacquie McNish, That is the absolute perfect Lisa blogpost to repost at this time. It encapsulates everything Lisa believed in, and she put it so eloquently in that post. I can’t believe I’m having to use the past tense. I’m crushed.
Made me cry again, but thanks for reminding me of that post.
My sincere condolences to Lisa’s family and friends. I only knew Lisa through Twitter and her blog, but I greatly admired and looked up to her. She touched so many lives and her memory will live on. What an amazing woman.
“Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can’t find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere.”
The beauty of the day today in London was the sunshine and the sense of the beginning of spring. I shared it with a friend over a cup of coffee and a gossip at a local coffee and wine shop. No need to create it today. Today was easy. No need to persevere. There will be other days for perseverance.
Keep enjoying your lives, folks, and think of the enrichment which Lisa and her eloquent writing brought to your world.
Such sad news about such an amazing woman. May she RIP and may her beloved family take comfort in their memories.
So very sorry to hear such sad news. My thoughts and prayers go out to Lisa’s family and all her friends. Lisa brought her children to the pediatric office where I work. She was one of the nicest Mom’s that walked through our doors! She will be missed!
Thank you so very much Lisa…for becoming a part of my life for the past years. You have no idea really, but I sense you do now 🙂 of how huge your presence is and will forever me in the hearts of all the people you touched – through word, touch, sharing “you” – You…scattered so many gifts to so many fortunate people. I…will carry you always on my own journey now. And I am so happy that you’re off on a new one filled with poppies, no needles, and the loving thoughts of all your wonderful friends! Lighting a candle, looking at snow, and making a pie – and thinking of you!
Very sad to hear this news but, hey, it was one hell of a fight! Rest in peace, LBA.
Big Daddy
Lisa has helped me so much in recent months, since I found the blog and Twitter feed. Because of her I pushed on with the new path of clinical trial treatment – I also have advanced breast cancer at a younger age. Thanks in no small part to her wise words I have discovered a new line of treatment which may keep me with my husband and infant daughter for a while yet. I only wish she could have continued for more years to guide and advise her band of followers, and of course her adored family. Rest in Peace Lisa xxx
Lisa, an educator,and a pillar of knowledge and chutzpah. A mentor for people with cancer, caregivers, and researchers alike. I am glad her blog will be continued to be available. Condolences to Lisa’s family. May her strength and generosity be carried into future generations.
Donna
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. My sincere and best wishes to you, the children, the whole family.
Lisa I will not utter euphemisms or placate realities that are hard or cruel and will hold you in my heart till my own moment comes. Will miss UR work so much and promise not to put pink ribbons on my car or other.you have inspired me beyond belief and I admire u and ur family so much. Will miss your heart and words. And thank you for UR bravery. So sorry for your family to lose such a bright shining star.
I felt such a love for Lisa through her blog posts and had an email exchange with her. i am so sad to read this news today. I also add to the thoughts and prayers for Lisa’s family and friends. Her blog has meant a lot to me — and look forward to re-reading what she has written. There has been no one quite like Lisa. Brave, kind, giving and inspiring.
I knew from her last post that the time was near….I think all of us who read her blog knew and dreaded when this post would happen. I followed her about the time I was diagnosed a little over a year ago…I sent responses as many people did. I will never forget her, her wisdom, her unwavering honesty and courage in the face of this awful disease. She did a great job facing the truth without sugarcoating the facts, yet remaining hopeful and embracing what she had when she could. My thoughts and prayers are with her family….Lisa will be missed by all who had the pleasure knowing her through her blog. Thank you so much.
Like so many others, I never met Lisa in person. We only met through Facebook, the blog and some emails she sent in my early days of diagnosis. Lisa came to me through a mutual friend and I have learned more from her writings than from anywhere I have researched or looked. Lisa taught us all about the ugly truth of breast cancer; she taught us all to remember to look at the Spring and remember the beauty each time; she taught us to delight in our children and our friends and our husbands and parents. And she taught us to be generous and share our words and our resources. I will sorely miss your words Lisa, though so often they made me cry knowing what you were willing to do to live just a little longer. RIP dear, brave woman.
Thank you for sharing your life….rest in peace sweet girl..
Lisa shared her life, and her death, with us all and for that we are so grateful. Her spirit and her teachings will live forever in our hearts and minds.
Rest in peace Lisa.
The memory of Lisa will always be a proof that there is beauty in the world.
Thank you so much.
My deepest sympathy to her family.
I am so very sorry to hear of Lisa’s passing. I have been following Lisa’s journey for a while and although I knew she was very ill, her passing feels way too soon. Lisa was a warrior woman, a courageous soul. I sent her an email once, she replied, even though she was so ill. What a great loss to everyone who ‘knew’ her. RIP Lisa. Your courageous work lives on. We will not forget you and the work you did to highlight this dreadful disease.
Tertia (South Africa)
I am very saddened to learn of Lisa’s passing. She was an inspiration to so many. May she rest in peace knowing she will be in all of our hearts for an eternity.
I am so sorry. I only knew Lisa Bonchek Adams through her writing. My heart goes out to everyone who loved her.
I have gained wisdom, knowledge and caring from Lisa. Many of my patients now carry the notebook that Lisa spoke about being the best gift to give to someone newly diagnosed with cancer. I made one for my father when he was diagnosed.
My heart is with her family. I hope you are able to find some peace with knowing that Lisa made a difference in so many lives. I will think of her when I see the first hydrangeas of Spring.
As a mom of young children myself and a cancer survivor, Lisa was an example to me of how I could do it! I could make a life and do it as well as my body would allow me. My deepest sympathies are with your family. Lisa will continue to be a shining light to cancer patients around the world.
Heartbroken & so sad. What more could be said regarding the loss of a woman, mother and wife who served as a resource and inspirationto so many of us. I followed Lisa’s blog, Twitter etc and hoped that she would be here with her family for more years.
I am so sorry about our loss of Lisa. She will be missed, as will her voice for all of us struggling through metastatic breast cancer. I will remember her courage to “tell it like it is” and am inspired to do the same. Lisa will live on in our hearts and our memories.
i thought she would live forever, my sympathies to her family, she will be missed.
I have no words. I am so sorry to hear this.
[…] deeply saddened to learn that Lisa Bonchek Adams passed away last night. Anyone who has read her blog knows of her beautiful prose, the love for her husband and […]
I’ve been following Lisa’s journey for quite a while now and was fully inspired by her to keep going in difficult times in my own life. I’m truly heartbroken to hear the news and for her whole family. She was truly amazing, I am sure she is in a peaceful place with all the others who passed before her.
Rest in Peace Lisa. You will never be forgotten. Love to your family from Istanbul. Julie
My deepest sympathy to Lisa’s family. Thank you for sharing her with the world. What a great loss to all who knew her, even if only virtually. You are in my thoughts.
This is from Italy
http://amazzonefuriosa.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/lisa-bonchek-adams.html
Love to you forever.
My heart is broken. I never met Lisa, but have been following her story for almost a year, when I was diagnosed too. She was an inspiration to me, and her will and strength have helped me to stay positive. My thoughts and prayers are with her family.
So saddened by this news. I only knew Lisa via Twitter yet I feel I have lost a friend. She was an inspiration. I never heard her complain or sound defeated. I will always be looking for my ‘bits of beauty ‘ thanks to Lisa.
Louise (UK)
I am heartbroken to hear Lisa has lost her battle. She was an inspiration to all of us who struggle with this insidious disease. May she rest in eternal peace.
My deepest sympathies. She was a very generous woman with a lot of courage. She helped me during my journey with cancer. Thank you.
My heart goes out to you in sorrow for your loss. Lisa was a sterling example of the remarkable spirit your whole family has shared with the world. Gifts, gifts, gifts — shed on us all. We are so grateful!
Rest in peace, dear Lisa. Pain free. Your family will forever be surrounded by your love, strength, resilience and hope.
What a blessing to this world to have lost although her story and spirit will no doubt inspire many for years to come. With prayers and thoughts of comfort, Beth
I met Lisa through our shared involvement in the FridayReads hashtag on Twitter. She was always positive, kind and involved. She always seemed to consider other people.
On the birth of our daughter Lisa very kindly, and generously, sent us some gifts for our new baby. We still have them even as our daughter is about to turn four. I look at the rattle she sent and think of her kind heart and indomitable spirit.
Bye Lisa. You will be missed but never forgotten.
X
I am so saddened to hear this. My prayers go out to her family and children. She had such a great impact with her words and incredible social media presence. So many of us got a glimpse in to the lens that Lisa let us travel with her on her journey. Her journey lives on in many of our collective journeys. I have truly been blessed to be reminded every day by Lisa’s words, “Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can’t find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere.”
I am so sorry to read this news. I had fervently hoped that Lisa would have more time with much-loved family. Life is so unfair. I’m grateful for her writings and her unflinching honesty and courage. She will be missed.
My sincerest, most heartfelt condolences to your family. Such a wise, incredible woman— No words. Just deep sadness.
Strong, brave and caring. You led so many past those first days n weeks. You’ll be missed but we know Joy came in the morning. You fought the good fight. Our brave n faithful servant to your sisters n some brothers. Peace be w you n your loved ones.
My deepest condolences to her family and friends.
I extend my sincere condolences to Lisa’s family. I only knew of Lisa virtually through the #BCSM chats and her online postings. Her insights and no-nonsense perspectives helped educate me on the staggering reality of metastatic cancer, and how woefully behind we are in helping patients experiencing it. Her selfless contributions to truly raise awareness where it counts made all the difference in how I support, approach, and advocate for cancer research. I wish her peace and wish all of us determination to do more who have been and will be diagnosed with mets.
God bless, how much God must have loved her to have shared her with us!
Thank you, Dear Lisa. For everything. I will miss you. To Lisa’s loving husband, beautiful children, parents, other family and friends, may you find comfort in the love that surrounds you always.
May the peace of God that passes all understanding be with you all.
Peaceful journey, Lisa.
A Message To My Mother:
God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be
So he put his arms around you and whispered ” Come to me”
With tearful eyes I watched you and saw you pass away
Although I loved you dearly, I could not make you stay
A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest
God broke my heart to prove to me, He only takes the best
We love you Mom
~Anonymous~
I’m so sorry for your loss. Lisa had a valuable gift to give to those of us following her journey online. I’ll never forget her and the wisdom this beautiful courageous woman so generously shared with strangers. She is not a stranger to me, I felt I knew her through her writings, although I never met her. May she rest in peace, and may her loved ones find comfort and peace at this difficult time.
I am so sorry to hear this news. Like many, I knew Lisa only through her writing. She brought perspective into my life. She helped me understand and work through the illness and eventual death of a friend. She taught me to focus on the few really important things there are. She did all of this selflessly- needing nothing in return, never even knowing who I am or how she touched me. I hope her family and friends can find comfort in all of the people like me- the anonymous followers who will forever be changed by her message.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I didn’t know Lisa but have been following her blog for several months now. I was touched by her strength and honesty. My thoughts are with her family and friends.
Good bye Lisa.
I had the honor of meeting Lisa years ago but I did not get the pleasure of knowing her. May you all rest on Gods peace and love. Devastating to lose such a beautiful soul. My deepest condolences.
My heart hurts today. I came across Lisa’s blog via Motherlode a few years ago. I am not a cancer patient, nor am I a friend or family member of someone with a breast cancer diagnosis. But I was immediately drawn in by Lisa’s honesty, and by the way she wrote about motherhood and family. I have two small children, and if I could reach out to Lisa’s kids, I would say that, above all, what came through to me from her writing was her love for you. I’m still getting to know my children, but I loved to read about each of you, and how she recognized and adored your individual talents, quirks, and characteristics. Her courage and her unflinching honesty, well, hers a voice that I will miss hearing. Know that your family and Lisa are in our hearts.
I was in the quiet little cemetery near my house, near Santa Cruz, when I saw this on the tombstone of the most beautiful grave I’ve ever seen.
“The Final Gate”
Let me be cradled when it is my time to go
Held in the arms of those who loved me well,
Let there be singing when it is my time to goH
Heard in the hearts of those who heard me well.
Shekinah Mountainwater, October 24th, 1939 – August 12, 2007
Above the grave was a statue of a woman, 19th century in style, in a flowing gown, playing a lute, and bedecked with ornaments, jewels, and flowers placed there by those who tend Shekinah’s grave. At the foot of the statue were goblets and trinkets and flowers. People have planted succulents that will last “permanently.” (Nothing is permanent, except the energy that made us and that to which we will return.)
Blessings to your families.
Tana Butler, who knew Lisa on Twitter for four years or so.
Beautiful, Tana, so beautiful.
I have known and admired Lisa thanks to Twitter for 7 years. My deepest condolences to her family; and I hope you are able to find some comfort in the contributions she made to so many others. Like all those whose lives she touched, I will never forget her.
I am so grateful Lisa shared who she was with all of us through her blog. I am so sorry for your loss.
Though we only briefly touched each other in this life,I cherish you Lisa. You fought so hard to live and more importantly,to educate others both in words and deeds about how this monster can be overcome. Because cancer,just as in the case of my beloved Lori,didn’t win today. Because we will continue to work to beat this and will always honor those who lives have been cut short. Thank you for talking with me. Thank you for sharing.
Lisa had a very similar experience as my mom. I checked in a few time a month to hear words from that side of the story and listen to feelings, joys, and fear that my own mother could not seem to put into words.
Thank you for letting her share her story and letting her loving comfort reach out and hug me.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
My deepest condolences to Lisa’s family and friends. Lisa’s strength, courage, honesty and writings make her a true American hero who touched the lives of thousands. Her embrace of social media made her also a true teacher who will be deeply missed. Lisa taught me to be a better mother and human being. She gave a voice to those living daily with the realities of cancer. In Lisa’s memory and honor I will look to find the beauty of every single day.
My condolences to Lisa’s family and friends. I greatly appreciated Lisa’s writings, and I admired her frankness and perseverance.
I send my very best to everyone here, from her dear family and friends, to the people all around the world. We are so much better for having Lisa in our lives, and she will be with us always.
Angry. So freaking angry. What is this disease that is doing this to all these young women and why? I am running out of fingers on which to count the number of women I know personally who have been struck by this deadly disease, yet we get only rehashed statistics about how the death rate has remained the same and not enough focus on treating the only stage of the disease that kills. Donate, please everyone, donate now, in this brave woman’s memory taken so unfairly too soon. Enough.
Lisa touched so many people in her all too short time with us. I thanked her several times during our brief twitter exchanges, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying. We did not look away, my friend, We did not look away.
Lisa did more than anyone I knew with cancer to stay here as long as she possibly could. Lisa taught us so very much, not just about cancer and the medical aspects, but about how to live. She changed our lives.
I will miss her and her frank and honest way in which she wrote. I will miss her passion to find a bit of beauty in the world. In her honor, I will daily seek to find more beauty in the world. If I can’t find it, I will create it. I will persevere.
My prayers continue for her beloved husband and treasured children.
Your Wife, your Mom; our Hero. xoxox
A friend of mine who was battling cancer told me about Lisa’s blog so I began to follow her too. My friend lost her fight last fall. I was amazed at the fight Lisa had in herself to continue to battle. I know she loved her family very much and this was why. Smile when you remember her. She would want this. An amazing woman..prayers go out to her family.
I am so sorry for your loss. I was looking for a breast cancer support group and found Lisa’s Facebook page and started following her. I am deeply saddened and my prayers are with you and your family. I recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and was truly blessed by Lisa’s story. My heart goes out for you and your family. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.
Didn’t know who she was until today. I read the news headlines. God bless the family and my condolences.
Lisa was like sunshine. She will be missed by so many. My condolences to her family, relatives and friends. She was loved and respeced by so many. She will always occupy a special place in my heart. Nilufer
Just for the record, Lisa even reached people in Africa like me. I also have breast cancer, and when people ask me about it, I point them towards Lisa’s webpage as she explained all our feelings, hopes, believes and thoughts better than I ever could. Thank you for keeping the webpage for the future. To Lisa’s family: it is not only how long we live, but how we live that counts. Lisa clearly scored top marks on the latter. And, as I tell my own children: I might be gone one day, but my love for them will be there forever.
Dear Rita, Larry, and Clarke,
My first impression of Lisa, when she was 19, was of a remarkably bright, mature, and self-confident student, but the lasting impression she has left behind is of a remarkable human being–with a fierce intelligence, an unconquerable spirit, and exemplary courage–and a teacher to us all.
My heart goes out to all of you for such a terrible loss. I hope that the knowledge of all the lives that she has touched, will, in time, provide some solace for you.
Howard Kaye
Noble and indomitable to the end. Thank you Lisa for allowing so many people to experience your quality of humanity through your blog. It is something that is rarely seen in the news media and on reality TV. Your reality was inspiring and worth listening to. Rest in peace.
My deepest regrets and condolences. I lost my beautiful 37 y.o. wife to rectal cancer last year. Words can not convey the brightness of her light that was extinguished. As others have said, so not fair. Wishing you comfort and increasing peace in the days ahead.
I started following Lisa’s blog which I first heard of after the dismal Keller squared episode. As a professional journalist and writer, I was always struck by Lisa’s rigorousness, her attention to reporting closely on her experience in a way that she intended to have use for others. Like many of the other commenters here, I also became very attached to her and checked daily for her updates. Many of us will be quoting Lisa’s words on beauty for years to come. Emily Dickinson offers this:
Beauty crowds me til I die
Beauty mercy have on me
And if I expire today
Let it be in sight of thee
Deepest heartfelt condolences on the loss of a powerful writer who added both beauty and good to the world. Our sharing in her story was our gain.
I first heard of Lisa’s blog and began following it after the dismal Keller squared episode. As a professional journalist and writer, I was struck by Lisa’s rigorousness, her attention to reporting closely on her experience in a way that she intended to have use for others. Like many of the other commenters here, I also became attached to her and checked daily for her updates. Many of us will be quoting Lisa’s words on beauty for years to come. Emily Dickinson offers this:
Beauty crowds me til I die
Beauty mercy have on me
And if I expire today
Let it be in sight of thee
Deepest condolences on the loss of a powerful writer who added both beauty and good to the world. Our sharing in her story was our gain.
Dear Lisa,
The tide recedes but leaves behind
bright seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down, but gentle
warmth still lingers on the land.
The music stops, and yet it echoes
on in sweet refrains…..
For every joy that passes,
something beautiful remains.
With much love and gratitude for sharing every bit of beauty with all of us xxxxxxxxx
love, love and more love to her children and family.
heartfelt condolences.
To the Bonchek and Adams Family,
I came to know Lisa through the Twitter breast-cancer social media community. Her eloquent way of writing and expressing her thoughts gave a voice and strength to many. Please know my thoughts and prayers go out to you. Lisa will very much be missed.
To you all, my heart broke when I read the news that Lisa had passed. What a wonderful person she was. She inspired everyone she talked to, she inspired strangers with her courageous words of encouragement, with her blog and tweets. She was and will continue to be a fabulous mother, wife, sister, daughter, aunt and friend. God bless you all. Pauline, Steve, Ben and Sam Jepson
RIP, dear Lisa! You will be truly missed by many. My sincere condolences to your family.
“Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can’t find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere.”
I have thought of how much Lisa came to mean to me and how devastating her death must be for all those who new her in person. As she shares her last day of life with my older son’s birthday, you can be sure I will never forget her.
Comforting thoughts up and out.
May your body be at rest, Lisa.
There are no words to adequately convey how sorry I am to learn of Lisa’s death. My deepest condolences to her family and friends at this most difficult time. Such a tragic loss of a young, generous, intelligent, talented, and truly beautiful human being. Lisa taught me so much about what is truly important in life. I will sorely miss her.
I turned to Lisa’s writing during many times of fear and uncertainty, and always felt a little less alone. I wish I could thank her enough. I feel certain that she would have hated the cliche that she will live on in the memories of many, many people — but in her case, the cliche is true.
To her family, I can only imagine the depth of your sorrow. May peace be with you.
Following Lisa on her blog and twitter was like reading an amazing book. Beautifully written and unusual in that the author told us at the beginning about its inevitably tragic ending. Lisa did not go gently into that good night, instead she dug her heels in and stayed to savor every last second with her precious children. My heart breaks for them but I know they can honor her in no better way than by embracing all the joy and laughter that lies in the weeks, months and years ahead. Sincerest condolences to you all.
I didn’t know Lisa but I did know of her blog, I am a friend of Lisa’s brother Mark. Apparently my own sister Kathleen had been following Lisa’s blog for about a year as she and her family face life with her husband’s brushes with cancer. I am surprised…but not surprised at how peoples lives intersect….feeling connected in a way that I did not expect. I find myself moved and feeling sadness for Lisa, Mark and their collective family that I am surprised to be feeling. I guess it’s just an example of the way Lisa touched many people in their lives and how we all look to have our lives have meaning, to leave something behind, to live life like it might be your last. Thank you, Lisa.
Thank you, Leo. It is remarkable how our lives intertwine. Your kind and heartfelt words are greatly appreciated. My best wishes to your sister Kathleen, her husband, and their family. Mark
Every soul taken because of this dreadful disease is a major loss. I understand you had a family and were loved. The greatest gift on earth and heaven. God loves you more than all. My sincerest condolences to your loved ones and friends. Rest now pink sister.
An extraordinary person. My deepest sympathies to her loving family.
I told my husband Lisa died and he said “oh, I’m so sorry”. I didn’t “know” her but he knew how much I cared about her and I hope its some small comfort to her family and friends that so many people felt just that way about her. She was a special person, kind and tough, realistic and hopeful. I wish she could have had more time with her children, who she so obviously adored but her legacy is immense and I for one will never forget her.
Sincere condolences to Lisa’s husband, children and family. She will be missed so much on her blog – I lost my mom to this dreaded disease 7 years ago – I will donate in her honor – please more research to save the lives of those we love!
May Lisa’s beauty live in all of us.
May Lisa’s family and friends be wrapped in the comfort of our loving memories of her.
Heartfelt love to everyone suffering from Lisa’s passing. She was a true pioneer in this new age of internet communications. How she found the energy to continue to teach us about what it is like to deal with such a horrible disease I do not know. Her light burned bright and will continue to light the way for us.
As a stage 4 breast cancer lady l found lisa’s blogs enlightning, uplifting informative and honest. A truly classy lady with a panach for writing. She found beauty in everyday life. He inner light continues to shine RIP
My deepest condolences to Lisa’s family. Like many others I did not know Lisa but came to her writings through the Motherlode blog in the NYTimes a few years ago. Her writings, with such clarity, depth and beauty are so meaningful to many. Although her words cannot fill the void of her loss I hope in time they will be a moving reminder of her life and love for her family.
I am so sorry about Lisa. My deepest condolences to all of you. She loved you so much and didn’t want to leave you. She shared so much with us, her readers, and helped so many of us who are also dealing with this illness. Thank you for sharing her with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless You!
Oh Lisa, I will miss your thoughtful, gentle, so very intelligent voice!!!
She was strong. A powerful advocate for breast cancer and recurrence. Determined to survive as long as she could. I’m devastated for Lisa and for all who loved her.
I miss knowing you are there – on the other end of the posts. I took comfort from your strength and perspective. You are missed.
Looking for the beauty in the day as she would have wanted. To her family my wish for peace among the sadness.
I too only knew Lisa through this space where she shared her story and indomitable spirit with such grace and love.
Like thousands of others, I am seeking the beauty in each day because Lisa inspired me to always do so.
I am a cancer patient currently in hospital. Lisa’s writing always reflected how I feel about my cancer and she inspired me to live every day to its potential even it was hard to do so.
May you rest in peace. My deepest condolences to your family.
I only knew Lisa through her positive posts. I stumbled upon her blog when I was searching for help through the grief I felt after loosing my mom on December 23, 2012. I was so distraught and lost. She has posted a link that her mother had written on this topic. I have followed her since. She was an inspiration of strength and courage. Sending lots of prayers to her family.
I was just devastated to hear the news. Lisa was an inspirational, extremely brave person. Her legacy will live on and will always be in your hearts. I know what it’s like to have lived through a cancer journey, I lost my mam, who was my best friend and my reason for living a year ago to metastatic breast cancer.My deepest sympathy to you all, I pray you get the strength to get through the difficult days ahead. Hugs from Ireland x
I am so shocked and saddened by this news. I learned so much from Lisa and I knew things were not going well, but was hoping that once again she would overcome. My thoughts go out to her family and friends.
I am one of many who admired Lisa greatly. My heart goes out to her family and friends over this devastating loss.
I loved hearing Scott Simon on NPR quote Lisa’s “Find a bit of beauty…” saying as I was driving in rural Minnesota Saturday morning. It is clear she touched so many people, far and wide. She will not be forgotten.
I knew Lisa when her daughter was in my pre – K class. Lisa was always the cool mom. She was the one we all wanted to be like…the one we all admired. Of course, everyone wanted her fabulous daughter in their class 🙂 Caedmon School is sending the family lots of love. We are thinking of you in this difficult time.
~ Kristina Wels
The Caedmon School
To Lisa’s family,
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing her with us. She was enormously helpful and enlightening. I will always value her advice on what to say and what not to say and how to be helpful. Like Lisa, I am not religious, but I will keep her, and you, in my heart.
I am so very sorry to hear this. Many thoughts of love and light to her family, especially her beautiful and beloved children. ♡
The world has less beauty in it to find without Lisa here. Her sincerity, openness, and courage were inspirational to us with breast cancer. Hearing from her was like a greeting from a friend in the garden, as I am sure she felt about her garden flowers. When she sent pictures of them in her last tweets, it was bitter sweet. Almost like projecting to Spring to say hello to friends she may not see again. Rest dear friend. We will miss you but will think of you when we turn the corner and see beauty in the world again… perhaps tomorrow… just not today.
xo, Tai
Like many others, I knew Lisa through Twitter and her blog. Lisa had a wonderful presence and really it’s incredible how many people’s lives she touched. She will be greatly missed by many people, including me. I hope we all continue to search for – and find – a bit of beauty in the world.
Peace to you, Lisa, and deepest sympathy to your family.
Lisa was born – Lisa died , BUT it is what she accomplished in between that will be remembered forever. Tears were shed for someone I never met but who could express my feelings so perfectly through her written words. My deepest sympathy goes to her family whom she loved so dearly. Her blogs will be read and reread by those of us for whom she so eloquently expressed our thoughts and feelings.
Even though Lisa prepared all her readers for her death, particularly in her most recent tweets and posts, it was such a shock to read that she is no longer with us;. that she was forced to leave her family for whom her deep love was always so evident; that we will read no new witticisms or eloquent poems. Her lessons on how to live, how to interact with others, how to cope with adversity were conveyed both through her words and her own shining example. I never ceased to be amazed at how respectful and considerate she was of everybody around her even as she suffered intolerably. Please know that her messages reached many living at great distances from her and grappling with myriad challenges.
Frimet Roth, Jerusalem
I am so very sorry for your loss. I read the news with great sadness on Saturday morning. I lost my mom to metastatic breast cancer. At the time she was 53 and I was 23. Reading Lisa’s blog has helped me understand what my mom went through (almost 20 years ago now), not just physically, but emotionally as well.
I find traces of my mother in other people. In memories shared by people I didn’t know that she knew, by lives she touched before I was born and in her many roles in our community and beyond. I find traces of her in stories. In laughter. And sometimes I see her in people she never met but whom I know she would have had an instant kinship. I hope that something similar is true for all of you who knew and loved her best. That you find traces of Lisa in the people you meet for many, many years. That someone you have never met is able to share a story years down the road that warms your heart. Those moments are unexpected and sometimes can be a gift, even though they sometimes take your breath away.
All the best to all of you in these very hard times ahead.
She touched so many people around the world. Thank you for teaching me about life, grief and courage. I see more beauty in the world. My condolences to the families, I’m very sorry. From Berlin Germany.
What an extraordinary woman – Lisa B. Adams
My deepest condolences to her loved ones, especially her children. Her struggle is over, but her legacy endures. May you all find comfort in her strength, wisdom and clarity.
There are no words. Lisa lived as full a life as her body allowed and then pushed it for much more. Admirable, brave woman who touched, comforted and inspired so many with the disease…and without. My deepest sympathy to her family, and her friends and to all who will miss her.
I, like many thousands of people, have never met Lisa in person, but am still reeling from her death. It is utterly inconceivable that her ‘find a bit of beauty….’ emails will never grace her twitter feed again. I started following her tweets & blogs a couple years ago. Her words have been invaluable to me as a hospice volunteer. I often have her words in the back of my mind as I talk to folks, and think “I wonder what Lisa would have thought about what I said” – as she was quick to suffer fools of folks who said stupid things to people with terminal illnesses. I truly appreciated her directness! My philosophies & Lisa’s were sometimes at odds, but I always took great insight from her clear and well-thought out perspectives, and again it has been helpful in considering other points of views in working with patients. For that I am grateful. I truly miss seeing Lisa’s tweets every day. Like others, I found myself holding my breath when she’s miss a day….and then let it out when she was well enough to write again. I truly miss her. I wish her family much love and comfort. Rest well Lisa. I will see you in a bit of beauty every day.
My heart and prayers go out to her family and friends. God bless them.
I’m very saddened to read this news. I don’t know Lisa, but have been following her blog for a couple of years now after finding it when looking for information regarding cancer. Her writing helped me to understand what a loved one with terminal cancer was going through. My sincerest condolences and prayers to her family – especially to her children.
I just read all her old posts. She was so honest…and helpful. She knew she was fighting a battle that she would lose. Something needs to be done about the plight of people with MBC. There’s just not enough attention and research.
I am so sorry to hear of Lisa’s passing. Her Twitter feed was always a source of delight and good advice and I shall miss her pics of her beloved flowers. Thank you, Lisa, for your courage.
I have followed Lisa’s blog for some time now and am at a loss to find the appropriate words. She has made such a difference in my life, steering me in a positive direction when life was dark.. I thought that my troubles were so small versus’s Lisa’s and I began to think of each day as a gift. She changed my life and countless others. Paige, you seem so similar to your mom, an old soul I think she must have said. If you decide to I think that you would be a terrific doctor or surgeon.
To the Bonchecks and Adams family I grieve along side you silently as other thousands are as well. Be well, be brave, feel her live still radiating.
Lisa
Peace be with you sweet girl and thank you for raising awareness. The good. The bad. The ugly. The peace.
I started to visit Lisa’s website last month. I was deeply moved by Lisa’s courage in fighting MBC. I am also a stage IV breast cancer patient. Lisa showed us how we can face this disease head on even though the journey is difficult. We will always remember Lisa.
Thank you Lisa. On crisp winter nights, with stars so bright, I will look at the sky and think of you.
i hope you can find some comfort in the lasting comfort Lisa brought to others feeling alone.
May you rest in peace Lisa. My condolence to Lisa’s family
A few days after hearing the news, I remembered this by the Japanese poet Kobayashi Issa:
In this life
We stand on the roof of Hell
Looking at flowers.
How perfectly he anticipated Lisa, and her gift to not only stand there, but show it to the world.
This doesn’t seem real……. sorry, I know that’s a really stupid thing to say, because obviously it is all too real, very horribly real……… but it’s so hard to accept that Lisa isn’t here anymore. She was a truly remarkable person and has helped so many people – many more than she will have realised. Sending her family love from the UK.
R.I.P. beautiful soul and healing to your family. <3
First day of Spring. Can’t help but think of Lisa.
I just can´t stop reading her blog. Her reflections on life, love, loss, grief and family help me to get through my tough days. I read her daily, mainly by night, when we feel the heavy weight of the crosses we carry. I do really feel that I lost a guide, the one that could tell you in advance what you could expect from the next step of the ladder of life. Her loved ones will surely have a hard time coming to terms with this loss, with the void her death leaves. I can feel the void myself …
I agree Helen. I couldn’t have said it better. Thank you.
Thinking of Lisa often and especially this morning. Lisa is living on in the heart and soul of many.
Lisa was clear regarding her financial support of Sloan Kettering. This morning on the main page I found the heading “Artistic Expressions.” I clicked onto the first and found a
drawing/watercolor of a flower along with one of Lisa’s quotes.
As I scrolled down I realized the artist is selling these. Are all proceeds going to Sloan Kettering for cancer research? If not, this may be another example of an opportunist.
Lisa took photos. Why not offer those for sale through a website like Smugmug.com (professional quality photographs on high quality paper and even canvas for a very reasonable price.) and raise the price (which can easily be done), donating all proceeds to Sloan Kettering. Lisa’s family wouldn’t have to do anything except check the account once in a while and send proceeds to SK. I wonder if Lisa’s quotes could be superimposed on the pictures. I don’t know, but wouldn’t that be something?
Please don’t allow Lisa’s memory to be used for profit.
Deborah
I’d rather look at a photo of Lisa’s than a drawing/painting created by someone else.
I meant profits, not “all proceeds.” Sorry!
On Smugmug.com, a 4 x 6 can be purchased online for about $0.49 or $0.69 cents which is cost. The account holder can raise the price and keep the profit.
My brother is a professional pilot and incredible photographer. He posts pictures he takes and unless they are “private,” anyone can purchase online through Smugmug.com.
A link could be added to Lisa’s site! This site… People could pay double for pictures and the price would still be reasonable. Imagine some of Lisa’s photographs on canvas! I would purchase several. Pink ribbons are not allowed in my home.
What’s so awesome is that the site/company makes it possible for the purchaser to choose the size, paper/canvas/metallic, etc. and crop/rotate any picture they would like at checkout ,customizing to the size they’d like (Don’t know why you must do this at checkout, but that’s how it works). Easy to do and fun!
It’s a great way to get professional quality prints on various paper, canvas or other products. They offer t-shirt, mugs, etc. I’d love to have a t-shirt with one of Lisa’s flowers on it.
Email me and I will send the link to my brother’s site where anyone can purchase pictures at cost. Obviously he travels (pilot) and loves taking artistic photographs on layovers. He does not adjust the price but confirmed that is possible for those who wish to make a profit from photography.
What a great way to keep Lisa close…
Photography and writing were an important way Lisa shared her love and herself. I believe she would support something like this wholeheartedly.
Thank you. All proceeds from materials related to Lisa’s blog are donated to the Lisa Bonchek Adams Memorial Fund at Sloan Kettering for research about metastatic breast cancer.
I was so sorry to read of Lisa’s death. Like so many others, I followed her on twitter and took strength from her writing. I felt connected as my mother’s name was also Rita, and I miss her terribly. Lisa has helped me deal, not with cancer, but with physical pain from a multitude of orthopaedic issues and the emotional pain of grief and loss.
My parents, who died (thanks to Lisa I am saying the real words) 11 months apart. My beloved sister who died at age 58 and my brother living with brain ravaging dementia at age 62, are all part of the life I lead. But life IS good. I married late to the most loving man, who treasures me. Life is good, what have learned is that you cannot be destroyed by its unfair moments.
To the Bonchek and Adams families, thank you for sharing Lisa with the rest of us. Hers was a life worth reading.
I watched the sunrise this morning out in the beautiful countryside, I thought about Lisa when I saw a silver glint of light appear in the horizon…keeping her in my thoughts.
My mother has had a catheter installed in her abdomen. Paracentesis became unbearable and unsuccessful for her so she opted for it. I feel like I’ve failed her. I know it’s not really my fault. I want to blame her doctors, but what could they really do? I’m sorry for your loss. I’m not looking forward to that experience. Here I am, 40 years old with 2 kids of my own, the end of my busy day, and fighting back the tears that push through regardless. I know she doesn’t have long… This is selfish of me and I apologize, I stumbled on this page searching for clarity on my Mother’s stage IV metastatic breast cancer and her situation, It’s like I just don’t want to believe it. I can only hope that anyone else I love so much can get better care and avoid this somehow. May peace find you and yours.
i just now learned about Lisa’s passing. I’m so so sorry. Lisa was the most honest person that has ever written about living and dying with breast cancer. I’ll truly miss reading her life stories. They have helped me so much to stay strong in living with stage 4 BC mets to bones & liver. I feel love and courage still coming from you Lisa. Thanks for being so present and caring. My thoughts and feelings are so much the same. With much love to all of Lisa’s family, Alice
I so miss reading Lisa’s thoughts and feelings….her tweets. I used to check on her everyday because she was such an inspiration. Just donated to her fund through my workplace giving program. Thinking of you dear girl….
Lisa,
Until just a little while ago, I thought you were alive, and watching over the blogs – When Daughters Grieve……..
I am reading about your battle with cancer for the first time. I never met you, but I feel as if I knew you. In my heart you are, and will continue to be alive, and watching over all of us that grieve; knowing this has stopped me from crying.
Thank you very much for helping me to “find a bit of beauty in the world today”. Your website has allowed me to make a promise to my mother:
“I will celebrate all the days of your life, not the moment that you died”.
Thank you Lisa. You are very special.
Captain Julia Johnson
So sorry for your loss
We are sorry for the loss and pray to almighty for sending a person like her again and again to imbibe strength and such care for everyone.
There are some we meet in passing And forget as soon as they go There are some we remember with pleasure And feel honoured and privileged to know You were that kind of person Who leaves beautiful memories behind And there will be many days Which will bring fond memories to mind.
My condolences to the family. I stumbled upon Lisa’s website while googling “how to cope with the loss of our mother”. Lisa’s site was the first to come up. As I read some Lisa’s twitter, blogs and facebook, she was an angel here on earth sharing her journey with breast cancer and writing on other topics. She was so brave and even provided me with inspiration after her death. I am so glad I found this website as this is the inspiration that I so desperately need right now in my life dealing with the loss of my mother. God Bless to the family.
I’m saddened to have just read Lisa’s last entry. I found this site by searching for cancer treatment binders and there was a link to Lisa’s binder organization tips page. From there, I stsrted reading other blog entries and was pulled in to Lisa’s world.
Thank you, Lisa for having the strength and courage to share your journey to a world of strangers and thank you to Lisa’s family and friends who are maintaining Lisa’s site. It’s been incredibly helpful for me and not feel so alone.
I am so sorry. Cancer stinks.
Thanks for being a such inspiring woman. I read a post once and then i just kept reading. My mom is counting days now. She is fighting cancer in her lungs, liver and brain. I shared a few of the post of this blog and she loved them. So thank you.
Miss u Lisa. There is an emptiness I feel since you left. I only knew you through your blog. I hope your family is coping. It must be so hard.
First of all, I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I started to follow Lisa through this site, reading her rants about the Susan Komen Foundation. She certainly opened my eyes. I am a breast cancer survivor and felt it my “duty” to participate in the Race for the Cure here in Syracuse, NY. That was until I started seeing all of the items popping up in the local fishing & hunting stores and at the big box stores and all over with all of these “pink” things supposedly promoting breast cancer awareness. I just got to thinking, do pink fishing poles and pink guns and numerous other items actually encourage women to do self exams and to get mammograms? Absolutely not. All of the millions of dollars raised should be used for research, for helping women without healthcare and follow up care. Your Lisa widened my eyes as to where the priorities should lay. I have come back to this site on numerous occasions and it wasn’t until today when I started reading some of these posts did I realize your Lisa had passed. I’m so very sorry. She touched the lives of so many and will continue to do so. Thank you.
Please know that Lisa remains in the hearts of those who read her blog – she is not forgotten.
My daffodils and snowdrops are starting to bloom…….reminded me of you Lisa…..thinking of you and your family xxxxx from Elaine in England
Thank you. ? I was diagnose with breast cancer one year ago. I haven’t taken any treatment as of yet and probably won’t. Unlike Lisa. I don’t have kids and never married. My mom just went through colon cancer just as l was diagnose with breast cancer. She survived 29; treatments of radiation. She is OK but l am not. It’s just mom and me . I was being strong for her because she was going through treatments so l didn’t with my cancer. This isn’t all wonderful . It’s great for those blessed with support but we are not all so lucky. These doctors are only interested in giving you treatment and then out the door. What a ending this will be.
.
senora, what was your breast cancer diagnosis? additional treatment may or may not be needed.
As I was searching for receipts through my e-mails to get ready to file my tax return tomorrow, I came across some of Lisa’s blogs and landed on this page. Old memories rushed back! I followed Lisa’s writing for about two years before her passing. She lived a full life with many who loved her dearly and many more still think of her from time to time. I just want to say to Lisa’s children: your mom is a wonderful woman and you are all very lucky to have her. It may take years to walk out of the sadness you may still feel today but time is your friend. Best wishes to Lisa’s family!
Thank you Lisa. Rest in peace
I found Lisa’s site today. I wrote from my heart based on her ‘Impetus of Fear’ blog. My entry was rejected and now I know why……First of all…. I am so sorry for the loss of Lisa, I did not know her, but I connected with her in her comments about what she had to endure with the tough decisions she felt she had to make to survive…..I have a dream that one day women will not have to give up their hormonal health to battle a all too common disease process. All treatments that seem to be geared towards breast cancer prevention are ultimately destructive to women’s day to day health. We deserve better. For the amount of money pumped into this disease we should have more definitive answers to our female health questions…. Lisa, may you rest in peace. I agree with what you felt with the removal of your ovaries. You are spot on………You spoke openly and honestly and hopefully will impact women’s health practices.
I just responded to one of Lisa’s posts after finding it in a Google search. I’m very sorry to now read of her passing. May God bless her family.
I am so sorry! I was just reading a great post by Lisa and asked a question.
Again, my apologies.
Thank you for keeping this website active. Lisa’said words are still helping people every day.
I think of Lisa often. I used to follow her blog as she wrote it and I still come back and read it from time to time. There is so much information and she was a very gifted writer. Her writings will help many people in the future. Thank you for keeping the blog available for us to read.
I think of Lisa often. I hope her family is doing well. It’s hard to imagine this much time gone by without her being here with us. However, her spirit remains, as does the inspiration she left us with. May G-d bless her memory; her family, and all of you who remain touched by her life.
I’m so sorry! I did not realize your beautiful Lisa had passed away until I sent my email! I then scrolled down and saw the memorial fund for Lisa!! Please accept my sincere apologies and condolences also!! She sounded like a wonderful person and gave so much great advice on winning a decision over a decision of an insurance company that knows nothing about us and the pain we have suffered yet want to make a decision that could actually save them money in the end!! God bless you and your families and RIP your beautiful Lisa!!!
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