I return to this image again and again: a bookmarked life. This brief post is from May, 2011.
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One of the defining features of childhood is innocence.
As children we don’t realize that things change. We think the way that things are when we go to bed at night is the way they will be in the morning. We put the bookmark in our lives and expect everything to be the same when we return to it.
Of course, as we grow we realize that’s not true.
That it can’t be true.
That’s not how things happen.
That’s not the way the world works.
And what do we say when someone still believes it? We say he is being childish.
Often times I wish I could retreat to childhood. Not because of how my childhood was, but because I want to recapture that mindset, the one that says that everything is going to be all right. When people tell me “everything is going to be fine” I snort. I recoil. I don’t believe them.
It’s not always going to be all right.
Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t.
But the road you must take to figure it out might break you before you ever find out for sure.
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I understand and share this feeling with you. Thank you for having the courage to write it.