The original 12 Days of Christmas is outdated and unrealistic. This is what you are more likely to get:
On the first day of Christmas the holiday gave to me a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas the holiday gave to me two ear infections and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the third day of Christmas the holiday gave to me three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas the holiday gave to me four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas the holiday gave to me… five extra pounds! Four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas the holiday gave to me six teachers’ gifts. Five extra pounds! Four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the seventh day of Christmas the holiday gave to me seven batches of cookies, six teachers’ gifts. Five extra pounds! Four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas the holiday gave to me eight migraine headaches, seven batches of cookies, six teachers’ gifts. Five extra pounds! Four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas the holiday gave to me nine barfing cousins, eight migraine headaches, seven batches of cookies, six teachers’ gifts. Five extra pounds! Four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the tenth day of Christmas the holiday gave to me ten mall trips, nine barfing cousins, eight migraine headaches, seven batches of cookies, six teachers’ gifts. Five extra pounds! Four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas the holiday gave to me eleven loads of laundry, ten mall trips, nine barfing cousins, eight migraine headaches, seven batches of cookies, six teachers’ gifts. Five extra pounds! Four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, the holiday gave to me… twelve too-small sweaters, eleven loads of laundry, ten mall trips, nine barfing cousins, eight migraine headaches, seven batches of cookies, six teachers’ gifts. Five extra pounds! Four lost suitcases, three flight delays, two ear infections, and a needle-dropping Christmas tree.
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Oy. You need a vacation, love. I say, ditch Christmas and go to the Bahamas.
That is hilarious! Well it would be if it weren’t true … I’m with Amy, let’s hop a ship to the Bahamas!
Ha! Yes, this is much more realistic. Nicely done Lisa!
Ha ha ha! So much more like real life these days. I especially could identify with the final 12 too small sweaters. Jim’s been living in the fantasy world that I still am the same size I was prior to 4 children and anything he gets never fits!
No more s***. All posts of this qulatiy from now on
Daniel, look at all these comments, awesome brother, you’re blowin up my friend!Love the article here, and it’s cool to see all the habits you’ve developed to become such a success. Keep it up man!!Marcus